Thursday, July 3, 2014

In Retrospect

I do take my friendships/ relationships quite seriously. for a long time, such a long time, I assumed I cut people off because I was mean and unable to be civil to them after they hurt me.

I recently realized, I do not have the capacity to pretend to people.

It is the strangest thing, while I will see you and greet you, I would not pretend that you did not hurt me. And that all is well in Lala land.

Some of us- me- finds it hard to let go of slights. It is how I am, along with being generous, sarcastic and always classy.

That being said- I'm not always classy.

Work has been a bitch all week coupled with the fact that I can not even get a break with a massage as, I have a fungi skin infection- Dear enemies, I see you. But God is bigger than you.

going to greece and seeing how simple the life there was, made me so ashamed of my incessant need to go shopping.

So while I am not completely stopping, I am getting over clothes. sadly channelling in this need to buy towards products. facial products.

I do not know if I mentioned this but along with life lessons, I got sun burnt in greece, really badly.

Would probably take me 3-4 hammam sessions- which I can not have because skin infection. urgh.

Someone told me, he was happy I was in his corner.

I like when people lean on me for all kinds of support, usually emotional but damn, I'm finding that people tend to bring only one bit of themselves- I especially.

And I am beginning to make a conscious effort to bring myself whole to people.

So for example, if you met me and I was comforting someone, I would do my utmost best to ensure you keep seeing me in that light.

And so on and so forth but not anymore.

Now I am bringing all my light into your livesssss.

Also, I know I say this alot BUT I really am obsessed with love irrespective of the form in which it comes.

That bring said, I was talking to my friend E- and I was telling her how much I missed being in love. not a relationship.

But just the actual immersion of myself totally into someone else.

I do not miss it as much as I miss drinking moscato tho. But I miss it.

And I miss simultaneous massages and sex afterwards.

[ps- I swear the spa's have planted camera's in those rooms to watch couples have sex afterwards]

I was also telling my friend E, how I sometimes, feel like my self sufficiency is going to drive away all the people who I never let do things for me.

But I am so used to being screwed over from delegating that I'd rather just do my shit myself.

Two of my nails broke., you guys know how that shit depresses me. Like I cant think straight when my nails are in shambles.

Also my hair is breaking.

Again dear enemies- God big pass una.

I am really excited about how fast this year is flying.

ANDDDDDDD I bought myself a rubix cube.I have been dying to buy one and learn how to work it forever.

Then create youtube videos on solving them in 20 seconds wih my hands behind my back and all that jazz.

My friends always accuse me of self washing.

I tell them and anyone who wants to know that self washing keeps me clean.

I miss all the compliments I got in greece.

Men compliment your ladies more.

Ladiessssssssss receive compliments more gracefully.

Okay. I think I am done here.

Have an amazing weekend everyone and remember to keep it classy. Always. OK most times.

ps- as always I did not proof read, all grammatical errors are mine.

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