When my mother was pregnant for me,
She wanted a boy.
So much that in faith, she stocked up on baby boy clothes.
Fastforward to when I was born a girl- she then put me in these clothes for a while [ probably till I outgrew them].
Till date I have stories from uncles [ who must think the stories are cute] who remind me how in 1990, they came to my house and asked my mother [ because I apprently got my ears pierced late and was always in boy clothes] if I was a boy. To which I would petulantly retort- I am a girlllll.
I feel like God might have answered my mother's prayers on a level.
Sometimes, I think I am supposed to be male. because apparently- I have an Ego to match.
Among other things.
Including but not limited to
- My fierce ambition and my need to succeed.
- My "supposed' inability to forgive and forget
- the tendency to throw cash at all my "emotional" problems
And my unwillingness in stooping to conquer.
Maybe I came into myself late or I suffer from an acute case of middle child syndrome BUT I can not be the only one who finds it strange that the above traits are some how only exclusive to men.
I do not know where the notion of women being forgivers stems from from I kind of missed it in my dna make up as a woman.
I struggle with forgiveness.
I hate unambitious people AND I hate people who have a problem with cash being a solution.
In trying to understand my make up, I checked my horoscope.
All my masculine traits apparently stem from the fact that I am a scorpio.
Except- I do not really think I am an immensely jealous lover. or that I am emotionally intense with etc etc.
Read the rest here
I was not satsified as so I probed deeper.
The chinese horoscope makes use of your birth date, month and year.
I would not even bother but they were quite similar. read here too
So after much contemplation. Maybe I am a man stuck in a woman's body?
Or maybe I am just someone who runs a tight ship in control of her destiny?
OR maybe I am every woman, who is yet to learn how to employ coy-ness in their everyday dealings?
I do not know, and honestly I am tired of people talking about my ego.
After all, I am hardly Kanye West.