so

i love my job. i really do.
however the travelling kills me.
and apparently the lover too.

im outta town for 6 weeks.
6 fucking weeks.

i dont even know where to start from, the fact that trip was on short notice

or the fact that once again im reminded of the neccesity of the damn toilet bag.

im still not getting one sha. zip loc bags for president.

so all my movements have been halted.

except maybe the party in Ibadan .

but what sucks the most. is that i'd be away on the lovers birthday.

we always spend that day together *insert sobbibg*

by now you must have concluded that we have made up so yeah. im sad to be leaving him so soon.

and

the lover and i made up.

i am relieved. i mean baby steps yeah

no make up sex or anything like that but we are talking.

and right now that is good enough for me.

:)))))

uber random

i know i never ever do proper personal posts but yeah.

i had this huge fight with the Lover last night. :(

we never ever have fights that huge. i mean its so freaking awkward.

and this stupid tamia song is not helping my situation. *sigh*

so being the female im supposed to (ideally) anyways go and smooth things over and what not.

but i cant. not because i do not want too. but because yours truly does not know how too.

yes if we fall out, i wont talk to you or make the 1st move. most times people just assume i cant be bothered and maybe i cant so i never bothered how to learn conflict resolution but yeah i kinda need pointers.

lol.

you'd think that after being with someone this long, there would be no more fights.

#np glitter in the air.

#ps. he just text me. and i do not know what to say, he also called me last night and i didnt pick up. i think something is wrong with me.

#pss. i know how random this is but i'd rather blog about it than tell any of my friends. i am not comfortable sharing stuff like this with my close friends.
well maybe except eneni and Ogo n nengi because they have been in relationships longer than me.

#psss. i actually dont need pointers. i just needed somewhere to air my views.

#pssss im glad im off BB im sure the argument would have been 20 times worse. but when you are N15 to blast someone. you just free.

and this damn weather is not helping matters.

i think i need black tea men. my new obsession. tea, the gym and wonderbras.

ok enough rambling.

Excerpts.

the Lover says the most amazing things. at the same time. probably the shit that hurts me the most.

sad but true.

anyways today i ran into my friend who i know is Gay.

thing is. im against homosexuality. yeah im all for live and let live. but i draw the line at being gay.
anyways we have been friends forever. like we attended sunday school together and how way back we go.

but he still hasnt come clean to me yet. and im somewhat thankful for this. maybe he knows my stand on such matters and doesnt want to ruin our friendship.


anyways we hung out today at church AND he said i never look like i am in love.

#sidebar i dont even know what that means.

anyways he said i always seem to have my head on when im seeing someone. he said he doesnt think i believe in love.

and i said.. but im always going on and on about my Lover on twitter.

then he replied " lover? i thought he was your boyfriend, i didnt know he had a family, PLUS you dont strike me as the side chick type"

#pause
men do my head in. even gay men.

anyways i sha explained that he is my boyfriend that i refer to as my lover and all that jazz. and he said. " im sure you'd trade up soon enough, thats is your way"


ive known the lover for about 4 years now. he chased me for 3 or the better part of 3 of those 4 years and finally caught me. i dont think i would be trading up or down or in any direction quite honestly.


anyways back to what im saying.

how do people come up with that shit.. you dont seem in love?

because i dont doddle his last name with my First on my note book?

or i dont have a tattoo of his name on my body (God Forbid).

how do girls in love behave?

because prior to this conversation, i was pretty sure my had that " im in a happy the sex is amazing relationship" typa glow.

but heey what do i know?

by the way. my locks look more and more amazing every day.

#sidebar TY bello's afro is a weave. i found this amusing.

however my face is having a serious break out spree. i dont know who i offended or whose man my face is attracting that awon aye them are cursing me out with pimples.

BUT. please stop it. i do not like it.

AND GUESSSSS WHO WENT TO THE TAILOR TODAY AND FOUND OUT HER WAIST IS 29 INCHES???

guess guess??

ME!!!. and my hips didnt drop from 40inches too.

i know i was going for 28. but im sooo estatic. i offered to make the Lover breakfast


and i now i regret it because well. i have no idea what to make.

and honestly i dont wanna feck up.

#sidebar i am an amazing cook. i just cant function under pressure.

and finally the responsibilities are setting in.

im preparing two accounts.

(i hyper ventilate every time i remind myself that)

ish is scary as hell.

and i happen to know no other auditors asides my Ex AIC. who works at a rival accounting firm.

BUT my hands are tied.

so yeah church tommorrow. im excited.

and wizkid NEEDS to quit this bad attitude of giving a song a title that is totally unrelated to the (weak lyrical) content of the damn song.

how the hell was i supposed to know wiz party and na u dey eye me. are related???

ehn tell me. anyways i like the song.



#np Wizparty.

I remember.

I remember and i have been remembering for the last week now random bits and peices of my childhood and just random bits tho.

Strange yeah.

I remember not having a car to go to school and having to join my neighbors to school for almost 3years or so.

I remember when my mum got her present job.

I remember moving out and how excited we all were and then we had 2 postpone it because the water tank was in the new houses' store and it over flowed and flooded the whole house and my sister was depressed because she went back to warri without seeing the new house.
(Except we didnt know it was depression then)

i remember all my summer holidays in warri. And egbudu market and garage and life hotel burning down. ( Life hotel was basically the whore house of all brothels) lol i remember my grandma praising God that life hotel was burning.

I remember fetching water from egbudu market and crossing the main road with buckets of water. Holding it with one hand and then holding my sisters hand with the other hand.

I remember my mummy baking us birthday cakes. And cooking brown sasuce and making chapman. And letting us ice the christmas cake.

I remember how i felt when the person i refered to as my best friend became best friends with someone else.

I remember the first time the lover set eyes on me. I remember because he kept stalking me at the club and i also mistakenly spilled my drink on him. And still refused to talk to him till he found someone to introduce us properly.

I remember Taiwo Akibayo. RIP. Sometimes i wonder what would have really happened if he didnt pass away.

I remember the night i heard he died. I think a part of me went as well. I cant remember. I do not want to remember.

I remember my first kiss post Oyikan. In a car just like it was with him. I remember it not being the same.

I remember realising there was just one taiwo.

I remember my 1st bra. And how Ogo and dami used to pull it and slap it against my back in class.

I remember the time Mrs Shoda flogged Teniola phillips and i for being in her english class for yoruba.

I remember night prep with no light. And just randomly drumming and singing.

I remember Joey's girlfriend telling everyone how i used to be the queen bee but she had replaced me.
I remember when the broke up. I hope she remembers it too and feel stupid.

I remember Uni and all those weekend parols. And new friends, old friends and no friends.

I vividly remember having to cook a weekend at daniel's house and spiking the vegetable with weed. Lol. We got sooo high.

I remember my 1st time in paris. And i remember Disney Land. And i dont ever want to forget.

I remember how i felt when the Lovers mother accepted me.

I remember my last fight with my sister.

And God in heaven knows i remember all my pregancy scares.

I remember him saying " if you leave me, yours would be hard shoes to fill".

I remember him asking " what are we doing?" And i remember allways replying "lying down after sex" lol that shit always ruffled his feathers.

And i remember all sorts of other shit.

In memory all those who lost thier memory to Alzihmers.

I hope i never forget to remember me. Where im from, who i am and what i stand for.

Random

I swear almost all of my posts on this blog are titled random.

because as calculating as i am. i think im pretty much a random person as well.
maybe a bit of a diva too but whatever.

so last night was fun went out to support my friends. had fun.

and after the club went over to surprise the lover and i missed church this am.

im need to quit just randomly showing up at his place yo. especially after last last nights incident. but luckily for me i met no one so yay. we just watched tv and slept off in the sitting room.

till 11.50am this morning even tho i categorically stated that i had church by 7 am and would love to attend.

no use crying over spilt milk now.

sooo today Nike(fit fabulous and forty) dissed My future Husband Mr Becks.

Nigerians sha. anything to seem in a little control.

funny thing is ALL the fashion critics had nothing bad to say about posh and becks out fit to the wedding.

infact since posh was sporting a baby bump, after Duchess of Cambridge her dress was the 2nd most anticipated.and she DID NOT DISAPPOINT!

with her arm candy of a husband sexy sexy david.

plus what nike said didnt even make any sense. so what if david uses hair product?

moving on.


im still YET to unpack my stuff. actually i havent even unpacked the stuff from my holiday last year so my 2 suitcases from last year along side the extra new two.

safe to say i need a pa or sthg.

work has been crazy.

for some reason i feel unsettled. maybe its all the food i ate today i dunno but im just not as settled as i should be on a sunday night.

it could be the fact that my boss asked me to work today and i didnt show or call. lol


oohh and for some extremely random reason... dotstar expensive things song has been in my head. all day. urgh heard it at the club last night and ive been unable to purge my mind of the song.

plus i just randomly find myself singing bits i know. and shaking my head and the lyrics.

we need song writers in Nigeria tho.

i mean im not an authority in Music but im a consumer and the lyrics suck!
that will be all.

im not looking forward to work tomorrow. and staring at sheets of excel over and over and over.

im going to need to marry a rich politician to fund my intended lifestyle.

lol. i keep saying that shit. i need to quit it.

i am also worried about my friend. i know she is going through a lot, i just wish i could help her in some way. :(

and she keeps saying she is fine. when i know she isnt. *sigh*

im not not attempting to enter super woman mode with this life im living i dont know whatelse.

i also have not read my bible in 3 weeks. *hangs head in shame*

and my new best song is You be killing them.

fab is just a joker. there was a line where just so he could rhyme nigga said "callet" instead of called. like duuuuuude. still love it. jam and a half! for daysss!


listened to the song about 50 times today.

ohh and today i referred to myself as an acquired taste and all myfriends started yimu-ing me. it is true tho. very few people meet me and like me instantly. especially when i cant be bothered.

however IF i bring my A game. you have no choice BUT to like me.

actually its between me and God, the person usually doesnt have a choice.
and i realise how cocky that line sounds. lol

i miss Benita too.

LAST NIGHT.

like this is diddy's (or whatever he goes by these days) bestest jam ever. but yeah im talking about last night in real life.

you know that thing in the movies where the girl goes over to see her man and is naked under her trench coat and she walks into the house and drops the coat and realises that there are 20 of his friends in the living room?

who have seen her nakedness??

so um yeah. happened to me last night.

well not exactly.

so i was supposed to go out with two of my friends who last minute decided to want to show up with 2 of thier other friends. so fucking irritating. especially since im not a fan of friends of friends.

anyways so thats how eventually they pissed me off too badly so i didnt show would prally go out tonight.

then around 11:45 i decided to call the lover. i mean. when all else fails abi?

so he wasnt going out but i could go crash at his. hmnn. ok

thats how somewhere in my head i just assumed that
1. since it was almost 12. no one in his house would be awake
2. even IF anyone was awake, thier asses would be at the club.
3. even if thier asses wont be at the club.... they just wont be in his damn living room.

HOWEVERRRRR. turns out i was wrong on ALL THREE ASSUMPTIONS!!
so thats how i was this insanely tiny skirt that ive had since maybe i was in year 3 or sthg..that i couldnt even sit in without my ass cheeks spilling out.

i sha wore it like that. you know in my mind. kitchen table top sex and tins.

howeeeevvvverrrrrrrrrrrrr

thats how i sha waltzed into his living room.
let me list the people that were there.
1. his younger brother
2. his your brother's P
3. his younger brothers P's friend
4. his friend
5. that ones P
6. like 2 other friends in the kitchen.

if there was any moment where i wanted the floor to open up and swallow me. it was then. that fucking moment.

i almost fainted.

because these fuckers were soooo quiet i didnt even think anyone was there. if you see the speed i used to flee ehn.

im sure they are still laughing at me.

Lover gan sef joined them,

if there is anything i have learnt from this oh so embrassing episode.

nobody. i repeat NOBODY. is living with me in my husbands house.

so when #dearfuturehusband says " baby can my mother come spend the weekend?"
imma be like you know what? lether stay at 4 points. and put it on my tab.

anywaysssss

so asides that. i just discovered calypso and coke taste amazing. if you love bounty( that coconut chocolate) you'll love this mix even more.


then to add insult to my skirt saga the lover now said" i hope you didnt buy this skirt for more than 5USD. thats how tiny the skirt was.

im not even going to say the other things he said. but yeah thats my new most embrassing momemnt.

im supposed to be at work now sef. sigh.

bosses who make thier subordinates work on saturdays. hell fire awaits them all. so freaking annoying. eish.

home coming

i love that song with kanye and chris martin.

anyways im home. :(

and i knew i should have bought two bottles of coffee patron duty free instead of one. im soo sad now.

anyways work starts tomorrow. i cant unpack and whatever. and knowing me. im going to live out of my suitcase till probably tola or eneni comes to help me unpack.

gash i am a loser.

and i made new friends on this trip.

usually im able to waltz in and out of people's lives.

i confess im having an unusally hard time waltzing outta this persons life.

eish and this is damamging my street cred yo.

but im sure i'll come around sooner or letter. because i know for a fact that ish is going to wreck me.

and i also know i wont stop till it does.

i have a heddick.

and there is work tomorrow. wailing.

and i forgot my ipod. eissssh. i cant stand modern day music. and i do not have my old music. i may have to purchase an mp3 player or sthg.

and look for my old music.

on my ipod my have 3 versions of the ghost movie OST by the righteous brothers.

unchained melodies- name of the song.

the movie was made in 1989.

and i havent even seen the movie.

does this make me a weirdo?