I got married to a wilding and now my life is wild thing.
Someone slid into my Dm's talking about how he feels my life is pretty eventful and I was like nah, its pretty tame.
I lied.
It's wild.
Yesterdayyyyy I had the most interesting meeting.
So Eros's girlfriend ( she says ex but you know how these things are) reached out to me to have a meeting*.
And it was interesting to see how even after we are not together I am some how still saddled with the task of making his life easier. Like you are not even honest with your new girl and she has to come to me?
Because when we were done chatting, she said you know this is the most clarity I've gotten of the situation, he just wasn't telling me anything and I didn't know what to believe.
Me: Insert upside down emoticon.
Ps: She is the most delightful person and under different circumstances we might have been actual friends?
Pss: On the upside, check me out guys. So gracious about the whole thing. I'm even surprised myself.
No really not to toot my own horn but she said " I was scared to order a drink because I felt you might throw my drink in my face".
Me: Oh?
Y'all think I'm wild like that?
Smh.
* I had no idea who she was when I accepted to meet with her.
Psss: Life comes at you soooo fast. If someone asked me to write out what my life would look like when I was 18 10 years from now, I would never have envisioned that it would include pacifying my ex husbands ex girlfriend at a restaurant in Lagos at 2pm on a sunny Tuesday over water and lime ( Because air and water diet).
If we are in an altercation and you call me a prostitute I'm just gonna not be mad at you because you are blind and you have something else on your mind.
Why?
Because if I was a prostitute my life would be so far removed from you. I will use my ashawo money to insulate myself from mad people who go around calling people prostitutes.
So yeah once you call me a prostititue I know you do not know me, and you do not rate me as well because if you rated me you would know I won't be ashawo-ing in my little Hyundai.
Matharoo sisters will be learning from me.
True story.
So If you watched the insta story and you are wondering why I'm so chill.
It's that I'm day dreaming of what I will use my ashawo money to do.
When it comes to work ethic: I'd say my mum motivates me so much, everytime I speak to people that know her or have met her or have had cause to interact with her and the find out I am her daughter and we are in the same career space it's just always good things.
First shock, your mum let you come out? she is really strict you know?
Me: LOL only to her employers.
But yeah career wise my momma is my motivation. Now if only she would let me work with her
When it comes to following my dreams: Paulo Cohelo. (self explanatory) but I will explain. I read the alchemist and it changed my life.
It's so frighteningly simple it makes no sense yet makes all the sense.
And when it comes to looking like a damn spice: Agbani Darego ( LOVE HER BODY). she is stunning and her body could really be mine if only I took out time to steady my hands and face this gym life.
Friendships: I think I don't do friendships as well as I would like to because I chase after people and immerse myself in their lives and then I get mad when they refuse to do shit like sit shiva with me when shit happens, but they have never had to be on the other side. So it may be a huge adjustment for them.
For friendships it's Job's three friends in the bible who came to see him and when they saw him they sat with him in silence for 7 days and only spoke when he (job) spoke.
I want to listen more and try to stop fixing. Just basically listen more and just shut the fuck up.
On life issues: I'm torn between Yoruba adages and the bible. I do not really identify as Yoruba but I live for the adages. One of my favorite is " When your yam is done, cover it with your hand so that awon aiye will not come and take it" it however is hugely conflicted by " the Lord will prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies".
I should be updating about my calabar trip but yah all I've done is tweet and download spanish trap music.
Yes Spanish trap music.
Why?
One of my holiday cities they speak only spanish so I need to even know the sort of music they listen to.
And let me tell you. Spanish Trap music is sexy AF and littyyyy.
I'm worried I'm not getting enough sleep along with the fact that *never mind what the fact is*.
I still can not find my pandora bracelet.
And I may just be starting to freak out.
I met someone who thought I was Lagos royalty??
I'm like what?
When I told him I was angling towards Swirling he said well you can look into English royalty, I can see you being a right fit.
Me: You people rate me so highly.
I cut my nails and they started chipping.
Short nails are not really for me tbh.
Today I dressed very down to work; and I tweeted how if I do not get queried I would take the job very seriously.
Tonight is going to be a movieeeee and I'm sort of equal parts excited and nervous. This is one of the first nights that I have actively made plans since I moved back home.
So again.
Equal parts nervous and excited.
Song for the weekend: I'm the one.
Because here for Quavo's adlibs/ Skrr.
Non stop to "My love"- Wale, Major Lazer, Wizkid & Dua Lipa.
And I can be your last,
leave your past with your first.
As I said NON STOP.
As a self proclaimed Diplo fan girl, once I saw that there was a major lazer track on the album I knew I had to get on it. I love the album (It's called Shine, if you are living under a rock) and my favorites include: My love. Running back. Columbia Heights. Fine girl and MY PYT.
Reading
The mothers.
Best book really, I actually did 45 minutes on the treadmill and didn't die because I was reading this book. It's such a good book. It's about a girl who the pastor's son get's pregnant and then she has an abortion and leaves the city in the usual manner of life, the boy marries her best friend and that one has issues getting pregnant and finds out her two fave people are having an affair and wahala.
It's a well written book and shows how gossip erodes life.
Drinking
No alcohol as I am currently on an intense air & water diet in a bid to get my body right for my vacation. Along with the alcohol ban :
Here for that photoshop looking skin ; getting my tummy on flat flat and pussy on agua.
Other non scale victories and health benefits are welcome.
I'm just doing this to look absolutely stunning naked and to slay my vacation photos.
Looking
-For my pandora bracelet.
Eros gave me. and every time I went on vacation after that I bought a charm for it at the airport, so saying its sentimental is not even scratching the surface.
Last time I saw it was 2 weeks ago so early days yet but slightly panicking because I swear I left it on a bed stand in someone's house and when I asked the person turns out he does not have a bed stand.
When I told my friend this story, she said and I quote " Maybe it is time to return santa's hoe' HO'S.
- Forward to my vacation in a few days. ( dying of excitement but can not tell you guys the exact date because awon aiye).
-Back at the delicious weekend I had, I had a huge adulting moment where I couldn't afford to go see ASA, because I had so many other things to do with money coupled with the fact that I had just returned from my weekend of debauchery in Calabar and that cost a pretty penny as well as some other obligations that did not crystalize on time and a spontaneous purchase of a John Madu piece.
The piece sparked a lot of joy in my heart and calabar was so so beautiful (although I would not be doing anything wedding related asides attending as I do not have the emotional range for weddings).
Wondering
Why the hell my nails are breaking so badly?
If I am actually as flirtatious as people say I am?
Why my data keeps finishing so quickly?
Whether I should port to Globacom?
If Goddess locs would suit me?
Where I can find a bottle of Gallo's White Grenache before friday?
If this white meat diet I'm about to proceed one is going to piss everyone off as much as I think it will?
Why awon aiye followed me from Snapchat to insta stories?
If I going to be stupid proud when my body morphs into it's final form? ( not really Probably yes)
Why no one understands when I say "I do not have the range"?
How long till T cracks.
Speaking of T. He actually moved back home. equal parts proud and nervous for him.
We had dinner on sunday and it was an actual vibe.
I am thankful for the men in my life who always always always go out of their way to make sure I'm happy comfortable and give me all the most delicious compliments.
Wishing all of us a delicious weekend.
Yes I know it's Wednesday but yasss. to the weekend anyway.
I do not want to talk about this because I do not know the better (well I am still waiting for the better shaping) in the most difficult moments I have experienced.
