Consistency might not be the key

One of the biggest problems of NOT having had a HUGE ass white wedding yet; is how no one ever believes I'm married.

I'm serious I tell men people that I'm married and they sneer like where?

You guys seriously.

Anyways so there is this Senior Manager at my job who keeps TRYING, OMG trying.

If he faced the kingdom of God with the persistence he has used to try to get my phone number ehn- By now all other things will most definately have been added unto him by now - myself excluded, you know, because God frowns upon adultery and the firm would most likely frown upon inter office romance gone sour.

But I digress.

Today i'm in the stairwell of my office building. You know just using the stairs sometimes, because gained all the weight I lost over the holiday.


so here I am- and he bumps into me on the floor landing.

and we make small talk all the while flashing my ring- Abi they said men leave women who are engaged alone?
-side bar: what is the english translation of "Shebi" and "Abi"

Sha sha. first elevator shows up, and I'm like " your ride is her, are you not going down"

Him: nah I am talking to you i can always get another one.

#pause

Because now I knew he was just trying to ask me to drinks OR dinner AGAIN.

And he was like how are my sisters, ( since one time I came to balogun market with them and he bumped into us at the carpark) and went on about how I have tried my hardest to not let him know me past the back of my braids.

And the inevitable- we are so much fun together, maybe we should do drinks sometime or a movie or dinner?

Anything that works for me?

"How about you bring a plus one to my wedding?" - Is what I should have said

But instead I said- We'll see.

He said- I've been in the firm for 2 years now. and we are still seeing.

I replied him- we'll see.

Anyways my past few days have been for lack of a better phrase " Emotionally draining"

But We shall over come, Just waiting for patience to have its perfect work and all that jazz.

Hope you guys are fine, and are keeping to all your resolutions.

I'm still bridling my tongue and watching everything that goes into my mouth with the vigilance and diligence (so help me God) of the 5 virgins who remembered extra oil.

Because this girl is not trying to grow fat under the guise of- But I was stressed.

meh.

In all of this I still remain thankful .

Finally one other thing

Wedding planning

ARE YOU NIGERIANS FUCKING MAD?

I know I am a bit frugal. some people even call me skint * side eye at Eros* I have better use for my money than to feed people who wont give me present.

But even despite my flesh- I was willing to shell out a pretty penny for a wedding ceremony befitting of a Lagos big babe MINUS the damn sparklers,

but when I saw the budget- The opportunity costs of a white wedding sprang to mind and have remained at the fore of my mind, and I'm not even an economist.

meh.

That moment

When someone askes you are you okay?

And you are really weepy and you just keep saying I'm fine even if you aren't but you can't really articulate your self so you just drown in your tears from inside out, you know?

You probably don't. And I hope you never know.

I've been so weepy lately. Everything keeps making me cry. And I'm so sick and tired of crying so much.

I'm down to every night now. 

My mum is worried. My husband is worried and bought me a dog. 

I DO NOT WANT A DOG.

While I sound like a complaint box- which I swore to my self I won't do this year- which is why I keep saying I'm fine,

Because maybe if I say it enough; it would be true and I would be fine.

On letting God find me and Finding Shina

This year, I decided to get a lot more serious with God.

And let him get more serious with me.

Children of God ( and heathens)- It is working.

I have fallen into the hands of Pastor Poju Oyemade.

And I love it.

I'm strongly, thinking of making this my home church. The first service I attended ( and the only one I have attended in person the rest have been via youtube) I just knew in my heart. That it was done. and I was home. I also cried lots and lots and lots of tears. But that is not relevant here.

Anyways so I have taken to positive speaking, daily bible reading, Joining bible studies and the likes. and check this. I LOVE IT.

This journey I keep learning and God keeps coming through for me, and I am thankful.

Ps- He also answered all the prayers for all the things I had been asking for.

And this is just January.

2016 is actually going to be a super fabulous year.

On friday, I dipped from work to go and see Sir Shina Peters live at the Afropolitan vibes.

Now if you read my blog, you will know, I do not really refer to myself as Yoruba because- I'm really not.

However because SSP is the actual best thing since before Rapping in Yoruba became a thing; I would always stan for him.

a little back story to growing up-  My mother was obssessed with music.

Literally. Abba was on repeat constantly in my house. Whitney nko? NON Stop
But for Nigerian Music we alternated between Shina and Evi Edna Ogholi ( you might want to google her).

There is one of Shina peter's video's where he is dressed in a three piece suit with a red cummerbund and a matching red bow tie.

Readers and Children of God, My baby brother- had his first birthday party dressed up like Sir Shina Peters- exact replica.

And you can guess what we danced musical chairs that day to?- AfroJuju.

After Shina left the music scene, My mum moved on to Lagbaja but thats neither here nor there.
So you guys need to understand that my obsession with SSP, No be today.

Anyways that is sha how I went to Afropolitan to see Sir Shina Peters.

Let us just say that, when he came on- My friend said this Owambe is in my blood.

If you know me in real life- I'm pretty cool calm and collected. Infact before Shina came on, I was just standing and watching them SDC perform and you know general disinterestedness because these new generation rappers. meh

So when Shina came on- HAYYYYYYYY.

My mother would have been super proud.

Look- if I wore my polar watch maybe 2000 calories would have been burnt.

I was SCREAMING ALONG TO SHINA.

I obviously knew all the lyrics - because even though I do not speak Yoruba- I can sing Shina. duh

and I sang SHINA to my hearts content.

My friend told me afterwards that- so why do you need saying you are not Yoruba? because this thing is inside your body.

I LOVED IT.

I obviously cant have Shina at my wedding because - Decorum has to be observed with a side of caution.

But it was LIT.

And I think one of the best things to grace the Nigerian entertainment industry- is SHINA.

Nigerians have a problem with maintenance.

So I was really glad for Shina.

I wish my mum would have been around to come and watch- She would have LOVED it.

All of the Lights in the new year

Happy new Year!

And I promise to do better in 2016. I mean that is a real photo of me.
Promise.

You can enlarge all you want. :)

I would be back with a more delicious post but right now. I am trusting God.
And when he come's through for me; because he always does.
I would come back with all the news for you.

Ps: I feel like I need to really trust God, 2 different bible devotionals and then an extra avenue telling me to trust him.
I'm like YASSSSS Lord. I get it. I would trust you.

Pss: I found a place in Lagos where they actually do hot wax brazilian waxes.
Guess who is getting her husband hardwood floors for Valentines day?

More general updates

So I'm blogging from my iPhone because too warm in my bed to get up to my laptop 3 steps away. 

Forgive me.

Turns out the client I had, said they were closing for the year which means I've been out of work for 5 days *dancing*

I've been partying like no tomorrow 

And let me tell you?

That life style is NOT SUSTAINABLE.

Ah least not for me. I'm cranky, Tired and constantly buying food for my husband because too tired to cook.

Also haven't showered in 2 days.

But yah.

Looking for an affordable nail place in Lagos.

I need to get back on that Gel nail tip Abeg.

My nails are already chipping.

Went to a salon in VI, and they said 3k5. To do my nails with my own polish.

I just carried my legs to downtown.

Who did it for 1k( hand and leg)

I should in all fairness do a full year review but since phone and can't see the actual post where I made plans- that may have to come later.

Meanwhile let me tell you. This year has been amazing.

Sometimes, I've been upset but generally , it's been a solid year and I have so much to be thankful for.

Top of the list is my family. I got added to a new family, and they have been so so so accommodating- 

life marriage major Key 🔑🔑🔑

Marry a man whose mothe has all boys 

They don't want you to know this, because they don't want you having nice things - BUT, if you follow me on the path to more success- your mother in law will ply you with the nicest things. #LAIOOOOOOON.

Shout out to Khaled. You should be following him on snap chat.

But really. Speaking of marriages- another couple I introduced to each other got engaged this year.

Time to open my side hook up business or nah? 

All the weave I bought from Ali express  was too amazing. 

2015 was also a huge year of learning for me.

1- if you have curly weave you need to pack it forwar and wear hair net to sleep . 

That way your curls bounce back tomorrow.

2- long nails will cut you in your vagina.

Nobody told me after cutting myself twice ( okay maybe my husband told me) when washing my vagina to reduce the length of my right hand. I mean it's long but isn't cutting so much. Although I think he wanted shorter nails because I've scratched his back to finish.

3- pay your tithe. ( I'm hoping this is self explanatory)  this is something I struggled with, but next year I've told God to arrest me daily. For every month I receive money and not pay tithe.

Since I don't have a fixed church. Anywhere I find myself worshipping. I pay there.

I also want to give more. And borrow money out less.

Which brings us to four 

4- neither a lender nor a borrower be.

Onigbeses are too plenty in Lagos. DONT borrow people money. I've learnt .

Only money I can forget about. Is the only money I'm borrowing out.

5- stop judging people.

Woke up and found that I had morphed into a you can not greet Aunty.

Look yeah - if you enter a place, don't let your mouth be heavy. #Greet. 

Because what does it really profit a woman to be a babe and get scolded for not greeting.

Hint- the answer is Nothing.

6- that marriage is a good thing.

Look ladies, stop being afraid. At the risk of being married for two weeks and giving marital advice. Marry your friend.

Not like best friend ( because 14 years in jail for that) but someone who is your actual friend. A lot of times we have an ideal in our head, but marriage has made me question whose ideal really.

My mother is steady salty I'm not my husbands handbag to events. But we are in the same bed every night, because that is what is important to us. ( I'm also still trying to lobby for a separate room- no show)

So please when you marry- or plan to marry, marry someone who you are his friend and is as much your own friend.

Don't let your case be the one of your best friend having another best friend that isn't you.

7- speak out.

At work, at home, for the youth ( if you get that last part, maybe you are old like me).

Because none of us are mind readers( except maybe Dynamo the magician) you need to speak up. If you don't like something, say it.

More importantly if you DO like something say it too. Odds are you will get more of said thing you like.

9- it is consistency that breeds results.

You are better off working out for 25mins everyday for 30 days than for 1 hour 3 times a month. Orobo no dey reign.

10- and this is a major key.

🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑🔑

choose happiness always.

Especially when you know you have to business being happy.

I don't think any year has been this disappointing for me, or had a more different outcome than I expected but look yeah- I'm happy.

Finish. And I feel better about being happy.

In conclusion 2 other things.

Resolution: to not imbibe other people's marriage road map as mine. (This because ah, everyone always has something to say about someone else's marriage) and after a while I may want to just adopt for peace to reign, but I'm writing this here to remind my self in the future that sex four times a week works well for me( even if it makes me late most times) and pizza on football nights are the 🔑 to evening rest. And finally it's okay when my Husband will drink a smoothie as dinner because he doesn't want me stressed.

2: to take my job search more seriously and to seek out this side hustle thing much more seriously. 

I know I only said 2 but-

Another one- to work out consistently, mind my business more, pick up a sport. Be more concious about using my new last name. Find a steady church, drink more water .

I hope you all had a delicious 2015 and I pray that you will prosper in 2016 in line with God's principles even as the economy forecast is predicting gloom.

Where there would be a casting down for everyone - God will lift you up.

Lines will fall in pleasant places for you and yours.

You will get into a new land and dominate .

These are the things are wish for you my readers in 2016!

Have a lovely lovely lovely holiday period; don't drink and drive,wean yourself of Arsenal football club( only heart break is there), do something you really enjoy and be unapologetic about it. 

Yet another update

I'm literally in the middle of a shit storm,
but I am okay, taking it one step at a time.

Letting tomorrow deal with it's self.

This Xmas and I'm literally going to have to make an actual physical list of things I'm thankful for

AND  budget  BECAUSE DECEMBER.

Been totally lusting after these "Balogun Tee's"



Because Balmain is cost and y'all know I rep balogun market to the T in represent.

And I really want to give myself something for christmas.

Two- I thought of getting matching Tee's for my Husband & I- LOL.

I feel like I should speak more about my husband and the kind of person he is so that all my readers collectivelly can laugh with me about how I am over reaching.

My nails and hair are currently inspiring serious envy.

Honestly I get the hair- because these Edges are from the Most high.

But the nails- Like any monsurat can give you stick on with super glue in less than 10 minutes for a full 10 fingers ( and toes- if you have bleached your's and you are okay showing them off)

I have pepperfruit like toes


Literally.

and cheesy feet. I cringe when people talk about toe sucking during sex like please-

My boobs are sufficient for this.

lets not suck any thing below the knees.

Speaking of below the knees. I am currently looking for a non invasive way to shave my legs.

without a blade/shaving stick and without the struggle of shaving cream and none of the pain of waxing.

My hair is fabulous.

I do not think you heard me. MY WEAVE IS FABULOUS.

I may have struck ali-express gold with this purchase.

metaphorically speaking. All my frog kissing finally gave me a prince- that everyone now wants a piece of.

No issues; I share my contact. No shame in my game.

I also entered the ultimate beauty box give away here and look I am holding out on getting  my nails done

Till after I win.

*speaking in faith because church going baby girl*

Also really holding out because wanna use the Vane nail polish in the box.

pss- Also looking forward to the maybellin powder as well ( hope we get our shade o)

cacao-ing here I come


I have a wedding on saturday. going to start meal prepping against today and tomorrow.

with what you ask?

well- I thought you would never ask-
I HAVE ONE WHOLE CHICKEN IN MY TRUNK
A BAG OF RICE
AND A GALLON OF ORORO.

Starting to feel like Xmas eh?

I think that is what I really like about paid employement. The rice in December.

Also everyone at work keeps asking what I'm doing because my stomach has apparently gone in
and my shape has come out

I want to lie and tell them its the marathon legal sex I'm having but because xtain- I am on a strict diet as well as 3 a week work outs plus every night I do burpees.

At least 20 before I sleep.

strong armed someone who isnt my husband to buy me a polar watch and looking back maybe I should have got a fit bit instead.

Hmnn- Awoof dey run belle or nah?

Off to the gym.

Slighty upset Sir Shina peters wont be at Afropolitan BUT excited in advance of all the orishirishi accents I would be subject too.

Ps- lost some weight in my fingers.

Guess how campaign like my ring looks?

FreakingRegal.

Love eet.

on general updates

I am better now.

No more upset/crying/depressed.

so many good things have happened to me.

I just have no choice but to be thankful.

I'm working through the holidays as always.

But in VI- can you believe it?

I am so super excited.

I'm so happy for 2016. In advance in faith.

work is good. Life is good. My waist line is snatched.

My ass is lifted.

My skin is clearing.

My work table is cleared. Like I'm going to celebrate Xmas with no work hanging over my head.

Off course I am relived.

I feel the urge to publish my Xmas wish list- Since I did not do a birthday wish list.