One week

It's been a week since I did my nails.

Usually, I change the color weekly.
last week something strange happened.

I chipped it. one. In the most awkard manner.

I had no idea how to even file it.

So I did what I do when I get into awkward situations.

I just walked away. And left it alone

Which means for a week, I have no had my nails done.

My Mother would be appalled.

But old habits must truly die hard because here I am two weeks later- with my nails undone-

Because I do not know how to handle a chipped nail.

This year flew by. So flipping fast.

I can not wait.

Information

The bible holds all the secrets in the world BUT

the internet comes very close in second place.

Research. Read. Investigate.

There is a whole world of  information just awaiting your absorption on the internet.

I'm serious guys.

Google is your friend is no joke.

All legs

I am all legs- Literally and figuratively.

I am a little over 6 feet tall with the shortest torso ever.

And before you ask- NO I did not play any sport like - basket ball.

And regretfully no- I am not a super model.

I have a day job, which requires I wear day clothes.

Which for some reason do not exist in tall.

Asides the struggle to find jeans/ trousers which are not automatically ankle grazers.

I personally struggle with maxi dress.

I LOVE maxi dresses.

I feel like the right maxi dress can do for a woman what the fairy God mother did for cinderella- or was it the shoes? I cant remember- But you get the drift.

As with everything we love in fashion- I can never ever ever seem to find a decent length maxi dress.

It breaks my heart to little pieces.

Like I want to- I really really really want to wear a sexy flimsy maxi dress and let mt sexy underwear mistakenly show through it but fashion houses deny me this simple pleasure.

I usually just sew the long maxi dresses I want- But for once it would be ace not to deal with any wretched tailor. To just walk into a shop and buy a maxi dress that is long enough.

Cooking, Beating and Red Benz'es.

Sooo today the Niyola video for toh bad came out.

And as usual, got the good folk at twitter including myself flustered.

The video- depicts reality for a lot of people, and  thus- got the whole marriage discussion up and running as usual.
Nigerian twitter is obessed with Marriage- lets blame bella Naija.

Anyway- all the discussion reminded me of a couple I know.

The husbands family did not want him to marry her, because she couldn't cook.
He married her, and they are happily married now 19 years abi 20 years.

Well mostly happy. Bar that one time he beat her, and she called her father- who is now late, but was a general in the Nigerian Army. And he ended up in prison for a HOT minute*
Until his sister came to bail him out.

Buuttttt they are still happily married and stuff.

So in the spirit of Marriages being in the air- I swear EVERYbody is getting married.

In December, I have 5 weddings in Lagos.

That is 5 different dresses. Plus at least 2 bridal showers.
Lagos is so expensive in December.

But I am soo home sick. :(

Anyways so for all my friends- getting married, especially you Nneka- I know you dont read this blog, But if you ever come across it, you should totally read this,

and work so hard, so your marriage never ever ever ends.

How not to screw up your marriage.


And Know that I am rooting for you. That even know we are not as close as we were in QC- EVERYBODY is sending the best wishes your way. I pray you slay this marriage.

In a totally good way.

And about the red benz.

here is the Video that sparked all the talk. watch out for the controversial Red benz

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CzR9s2rRkk

for some reason, I can not upload it.

Ps: I made puff puff today.

The first batch- burnt.
The second batch- flat like pancakes.

The third batch came out perfect- except by then I was already sick and tired of licking the batter I couldnt eat it.

Said puff puff currently resides on my kitchen counter in all of its glorious golden brown splendor.

*- hot minute= a long ass time.
Even if you are not getting married- Kindly read the post.
Its gold.

Catching Fish

My friend L, is from Uganda, and I find that whenever my other Nigerian friends and I are gisting, She has to stop us occasionally to explain terms that we do not know the meaning of- such as - Abi, Shebi, Sha- etc.

So today we were talking about toasters.

And she asked- what does toasting mean? And I'm like talking too? wooing? courting?

Toasting is toasting because a nigga is trying to get to you- Its the period before you say yes abi?

Anyways then the term catching fish came up.

In Queen's college- Which was an all girls school, two occasions were important to Us. or Me.

At 13/14/15 any opportunity to catch fish was welcome.

The opportunities came only when boys were allowed into school. - Inter house sport AND  Rotary whatever.( I cant remember what the meetings were called)

The rotary thing was pretty exclusive, And Because I was MC of every Rotary occasion- I saw the boys alright.

But what I could never understand was how at that age, we did nothing explicity got boys to advance and talk to us and some how credited ourselves.

We refered to boys coming to talk to us as catching Fish.

Catching Fish. We wore those hideous uniforms, Hideous- But somehow got boys to talk to us AND gave ourselves props for it.

I think there was something we were taught in QC- which I can not explain or put into words that has to do with attracting men.

My Friend L- Does not know how we " Nigerian girls do it"

I think Nigerian girls have found the balance in being toasted.
You are able to front- But at the same time give off enough for said toaster to continue toasting you while not coming off as easy.

And I did try to explain this to L- who the Nigerian men here are in awe off. But can not understand how someone can be so " without guile".

L has all her cards on the table.

And that is not working for her.
Sooooo do Nigerian Men revel in chasing women who make them jump hoops?

Maybe.

Four Other things.

1- Best Man movie 2 is coming out soon. I have a crush on Taye Diggs. Who I am sure smells delicious.
I feel really blessed to be in a generation fortunate enough to be gifted not one but two best man movies.

2- How impressionable are you by tv? I remember watching boomerang with eddie murphy- and KNOWING that the minute I could get my nails done- I would ALWAYS have my nails looking on point
( In the movie, he left a woman because her toe nails were shit).
And offcourse the Domitila movie which I already spoke about. Before somewhere on the blog.

3- I do not know if I should indulge in Mr A. Mr A is everything that could go wrong. Bottled up. BUT he smells so damn good.- We will see sha.

4- Did I tell you how the few friends I made here are the most amazing. And I do not say this because of my extra thoughtful birthday presents. OR because they are always good to my terrible ass. But because I like to applaud myself on my excellent choice of people.

BUT I need to credit God for bringing all these people into my life. There is absolutely no way- I worked this one out on my own.

I know I said four but last thing.
I baked my birthday cake, myself, from scratch.

You guys need to know that
1- if my CEO/ Partner life doesn't work out
2- And I do not become a super model.
3 I could always become a baker.

Everyone said the cake was amazing. So I am guessing it was.

No-buy-Vember and Neck kisses.

I have decided to buy nothing this month.

No clothes.
No shoes
No bags
No Make up.

No Nothing.

This is the No buy Vember month. Is this a struggle?

Yes. Asos just sent me a 60% off link.

There is this boy- There is always some boy- who has this massive crush on my body.

I say this because- I treaty him very badly- This is not something I am proud off by the way- it is just what it is.

It just happens- I really am a nice person.

So Mr A has a crush on me and knows where I live.

Because the town is really small and someone thought it would be a funny joke to tell A where I lived.

- Sidebar when I was homeless, Mr A was an option as a house mate- But we had to share bathrooms- and I am a bit anal about those things.

Long story short.

Mr A is creepy. Really Pervy.

But smells so fucking good.

I know this because I hugged him when I walked him to the door at the library today.( longer story)

And he attempted to kiss my neck- But got my scarf.

Birthday Behavior.

For my Super twenty Fifth birthday- I wanted to go all out!

Give them Vegas with some friends! Or better still go somewhere overtly romantic with the lover.

Due to lack of planning and general logistics. I did neither.

I had a party at home.

And it was amazing.

I had 10 people over. cooked a three course meal for them. baked the  most delicious cake ever.

Had too many cocktails.

Received the best presents. It was a super birthday. To say the least.

It was a general reminder that- Whatever will happen, will happen.

Its what I learnt this year- Let the chips fall where they may- what wants to happen will happen and everything will be all right.

I had an amazing year. And an even better end to the year.

Also can I tell you people how amazing my friends here in Dundee are?

I got the best birthday presents in the world.

I have never been happier on a birthday.

I think. I am not sure- and I am a pretty happy person.

Also I think I need to say a huge thank you. A lot of people called me, looked for me, texted me.
Instagrammed me well wishes- WHICH  I am proud to say I returned all greetings with thanks and stuff. I am really proud of myself I never reply to those things!

So much love! Everyday should be my birthday guys!