Monday, August 15, 2016

On the future.

So while I have been praying for a bunch of stuff.
And they have been coming to fruition. ( I know color me excited!), I did not realise that I had been so fixated on the past.

On the things I didn't want, on the things I wanted to leave behind and on the things I needed to stop.

Focusing on these just further strengthened the already existing neural pathways they commanded in my head.

There were a lot of things I wanted to get into but I had been paralyzed by some sort of fear mostly that I lack lasting power to finish strong. ( This has been slowly dispelled from my mind- will go into it in a minute).

And so I never did anything asides what I had to do.

But I'm learning that these strong holds are false, and the learning is accidental.

For one, I do have lasting power to finish strong(This sounds sexual but it really isnt), I just need to have enough riding on the need to finish.
-Case in point, My sister's wedding planning.

Even me I am surprising myself daily.

Everyday I say I do not like people, but everyday I am finding that people like me a lot so.

2.I am pulling through daily. making lists and crossing them out. ( I guess that's really all one needs to hit completion).

But I thought I couldnt finish because at work, I would start strong and half way I would just be like- fuck this shit, and by the time I need to wrap up the engagement I'm just here like- I DO NOT NEED THIS SHIT.

But it turns out my person needs things wrapped up and tidy and all that jazz.

But I discovered this, not in trying to focus my energies on work but just steady building at completing my sisters wedding.

So now I know I can finish strong, I am here to talk about all the things I am looking forward to finally doing.

-1 using the candle I bought from miami 3 years ago in the guest bathroom at my new house (Yes I'm moving house)

-2 accumulating flier miles from my new job such that I can go to three new countries every year for a pittance! (yay)

-3 Finally seeing dubai

-4 Getting into the fights I have been avoiding because I know that there is help

-5 Fighting for what I want, getting it, and KEEPING it tightly. ( this is personal but I will talk about this later)

-6 Enjoying my new relationship with money because the lord provides all my needs according to his riches in glory.

-7 making a choice between long nails and completing learning how to play the piano. ( So help me God)

-8 Becoming an interior decorating genius. because again, new house and hopefully final Home.

I think I am a bit too open and I want to become a bit more guarded.- what do you think?

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