Monday, January 5, 2015

New year same everything else

ps- ramble and Typo alert.


If I need to talk about EVERYTHING that has happened to me in the past weeks.

Sigh.

I mean so much has happened since Christmas day.

first off- I met a boy.

Well my heart and body met the boy. my brain went into Voltron mode and refused to allow me meet the boy.

*in kevin harts voice* Let me explain.

You know how when you meet someone. your stomach has those random butterflies

and your heart has an erratic beat ( I start having palpitations)

But you see for every boy I meet; or I have been opportuned to meet;I know the reaction.

So I know how to react accordingly.

So I met this boy and I had the most unusual reaction- I was literally short of breath.

It was so fucking ridiculous.

Like here I am in my village house- barking orders around and just generally being a Lagos bad bitch and I see him and I cant breathe.

So our eyes met and we did this little song and dance thing ( I swear this is not in my head)

And in that instant I KNOW; I would never allow myself meet him.

I found someone else to attend to the people he came with and I went inside to sit; catch my breath and settle down, and guess who walks in?

Mr air dementor.

This boy/man/person literally sucked out the air from my being.

And I did what every coward who feels the need to live to fight another day does.

I Fled.

Ran away. went upstairs to hide till I knew he had left.

Turns out he is my uncle's wives cousin; who popped in for Xmas in my village because he had never been. Also turns out he is an off shore engineer at Shell.

Look I am not even going to go into this any further.

Lets just say I was very very very proud of my self control.

After the whole celebration on saturday.

My mother got married on sunday.

( and that is all I am going to say about that for now- till I am able to work through all the motions of how I feel about the whole thing)

(pss- My parents have been divorced for EONS. so it's not like she has two husbands- Plus she has returned the dowry my father paid)

psss- she went and got married to yet ANOTHER Yoruba man. ha ha - what can I say- the heart wants what the heart wants!

On monday I did some work because I was supposed to count stock in Benin and warri as my yearly store count wahala thingy.

I was not impressed to say the least but it worked out okay.

In benin after the count I went to Kada fries ( think silver bird in its glory days); to wait for my cousin, and some man comes up to chat me up.

So I tell him yes I might see a movie; but not right now as I am waiting for my cousin.

So this man says I have to come to join him then gives me money to buy my ticket for me and my cousin when she comes so we can come and join him.

When my cousin showed up- she asked me if I was not afraid of gbomo gbomo.

I asked her why she did not tell me that; this is how they are sharing money in Benin; I would have been coming more often.

we laugh- she calls me a word not suitable for my blog audience

And i'm like abeg abeg. we go to find mama ebo pepper rice ( nothing fantastic)

and I'm going back to emevor when my client tells me I can do the warri stock taking.

I am in awe- this means no work tomorrow; I can take the first flight out of warri I scheme.

After the count I go to Osubi- guess what

THE ONLY FLIGHT OUT OF WARRI IS BY 5PM.

So I sleep in on new years day.

Bond with my cousins just generally lounge and listen to loud music and muse about how delicious the year was.

Then I have to go to lagos, I am sad to leave- I really like the village and my grandma.

Anyway I get to the airport and I have to return the garri that someone saddled me with to give my mother.

I get on the plane and tease the cabin crew guy about how I want new years rice.

We laugh about it; and I fall asleep

I wake up and this guy actually brings me jollof rice and chicken while everyone else has that miserable arik cake.

If this is any indication of how my year is going to pan out- I am uber excited.

After all the passengers disembark- I stay behind to thank the air host for the rice.

Ps- ya'll know I do not rate Arik for shit[ However this flight departed on time; light skinned airhost gave me special jollof rice and there was zero turbulence]

And I touched down Lagos.

I love lagos.

while I slept into NYE I am sure that it was delicious for those awake- especially those in dubai.

That statement is laced with all the envy I can possibly muster.

I came home to jo malone candles; perfume and a new iphone.

I told you guys that jollof rice on the plane set the tone for the year.

At the back of my mind- it feels like this is the year I get married.

I am indecisive about getting married sometimes because I do not know if its what I want; or what is expected of me.

in my life usually the lines are blurred.

Be that as it may--- RESOLUTIONS

1- to stop gossiping
note- I think I am deferring this one till June.
2- to be kinder
note- This seems to be working
3- to let people be
note- I am a hoarder by nature so letting people go is hard but I have so much dead weight. ah
4- to align my hearts desires with the right thing
note- look how I walked away from the boy that might have given me the most fulfilling village romance ever- I think I am on the right track
5- to travel
note- life sponsors and sugar daddies welcome
6- to read more
note- this is an aseju resolution; I am up till 2 am on weekdays reading books
7- to study my bible more
note-shamefully I do not even go to church anymore; I just lie in bed on sunday mornings and tweet or catch up on whatever
8- to be happy
note- I realised that the more flexible I became on situations; the happier I became, so I guess I should be wanting to be more flexible.
9- To shop less
note- but I find that shopping brings me so much joy( Must be all the daddy and Yoruba boy issues I have accumulated over the years)
10- To foster a relationship with my father
note- This is probably going to be the hardest thing to do- butttt I will keep you all updated during the process[ pss; if anyone has the exact daddy issues, come let us share sob stories while I ply you with copious amounts of alcohol]


So in Light of all this ; this new year I wish you money in your pocket, bread on your table and butter in your bread.

psssss- is it too early to put up my valentines day wish list yet; seeing as my birthday was such a smashing success?!

Also, I hope all our deepest darkest hearts desires come true this year.

LOL I just noticed I did not include anything about becoming fitter in 2015.
Meh. More doing less talking I guess.


1 comment:

Fluffycutething said...

Happy new year...

Not sure why I've never stumbled on your blog before but i like it...

will be back often

Currently

Listening non stop to You tell me fuck you with the lights on And I always answer my phone I love this remix so much, it's pr...