Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Hyde Park Run anyone?

I am currently In the coldest city of London for work.

Totally Short notice and Definitely undeserved.

When I said I wanted to see family in  London; I had no idea that
1- I would get that wish granted barely 2 weeks after making it

and 2- My actual job would make it possible.

Let me throw some surface light on what I do.

I have one of those jobs that basically foot soldiers do all the work and Oga's at the top just pop in scream and bounce.

Leaving you will all that shit- and sometimes it's okay.

I mean, It keeps me in my glad rags.

But for the most time- there was minimum almost non existent fringe benefits.

And in the unlikelihood of those benefits occurring- Such as an all expense paid trip out of town( hello Shopping) even though it is for work- Oga's at the top find a way of taking those for themseleves too. Even when that shit is waay below their pay grade.

Anyway so there I was minding my own business in Aswani Jeje when- I get a call from my manager whom I am supposed to go to Abuja with on sunday Telling me I'm coming to London for work.

Me- But I have my clients all lined up till march.

when in reality- I did not want to come because I had no interest in coming out of town and working under someone else ( meh sue me, I like my working style)

Anyway so he said I should just prepare myself and. I told him- I'm still going to Abuja anyways. We laughed.

I did not do my hair- or laundry. Instead I booked a one way ticket to Abuja for work.

I arrived Abuja- Turns out my new manager has been calling me all day.

She needs all my passport details for travel.

Me- Meh; I will send them.

She requested I return on friday since I was leaving on saturday?/ sunday? she wasnt too sure.

For someone who is always excited to travel- I was a bit meh.

I really hate working with women ( surely you can tell by now);

So long story short- I miss my family thanksgiving my flight is delayed by two hours ( hallo virgin)

BUT I meet the absolutely funnest cabin crew boy in my life.

Side bar- Yoruba men LOVE me.

Assistant Side bar- What is up with Nigerians and that accent. urgh that puesdo accent that melts away when they see you would really not mind them speaking normally.

Anyways I arrived London in one piece- Thankful.

Get my stuff. Find my cab driver. Get to my hotel and slowly I am getting excited.

My Apartment is AHMAZINGGGG!

The fact that I have to work till 10pm every night is not. :(

I miss shopping.

So I woke up this morning thinking I would go for a run- Ps I can see Hyde park from my bedroom window.

Hotel is fucking Lavish for real.

Anways so I check the temprature. Its -4 degrees.

I am guessing this fat will be firmly wedged in between my boobs and love below pending when I can get my fitness shit together.

Ps- My new woman manager IS not so bad- I just really hate authority.
2- She has already asked me when I am getting married.

Women are so weird thinking we would bond over man stories.

I am learning to keep my man troubles ( although non existent) to my self these days.

Totally not interested in unsolicited advice- which by virtue of being Nigerian might as well be free-er than oxygen on this marriage matter.

Anyways Back to work.

I have done shit but faff all damn day tbh.

Also being the most junior person here means I need to do grunt work like - expenses.

Urgh wth?

I haven't done expenses since maybe  2011.

LOL I mean I don't mind- My ego is just a little bruised.

For real I am waaay to old to work on expenses.

But Look, I keep saying I hate my job and then I randomly sans lobbying get picked to go to london for work.

That Arik Jollof rice def set the tone for Favor this year.

Also no one seems to believe me when I tell them I did zero lobbying. Infact I get steady side eyes.

And Im like y'all think Im trying to call in favors when I wanna leave?

LOL. Jokers.

Anyways- Im guessing these are the favors that make it look like you are a liar.

side-est bar.

Does this mean I am actually good enough at my job that my firm thinks Im good enough to go?

Like this client is not even my sector. And I had other things to do.

Talk about hand picked from nothing.

Still cant wrap my mind around it.

ALSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The men in my client's offices are so kind to me
-Have you had dinner
- Do you want to have dinner
- Will you let me know when you are leaving the office
- Will you come and work for us
-Are you always this excited

-You have a really nice smile
- Let me have your number.

Last one; you called it Yoruba boy.

Look I'm not even mad. London is cold AF.

I can honestly understand why marriages in london last longer than the ones in Lagos

Asides the zero interfernce from family/MIL

this weather will make you cling to that lying SOAB so damn hard.

Like baby its cold outside- I know we hate each other- But cuddle?

Then Kiss? Then Make up? haha

But really tho- babes can not be going out on random dates and standing at the bus stop freezing away when You have a warm body at home.

But Lagos- ah Lagos is warm enough for the body heat you need to be generated by a O-mazing rabbit from ann summers.

Then with the heat of Abuja. You can imagine how dispensable these men are.

Anyways Just an update.

Im coasting here. On auto pilot for now. Can not wait till weekend. Booyah!


1 comment:

mizchif said...

LOL!!!!!
You're such an idiot. But i love you. Because once again i read a post from you and it sounds very me.

But really Nigeria is so warm that it's easy to understand why/how people be changing their minds/partners. Like this person can just sweat one kain and you'll be over it.
I'm JEALOUS, JEALOUS that you get a lavish apartment in Londres even if it's for work. I want that type of work, i might could even fetch coffee for such a job.

We won't talk about Nigerians and marriage advice/suggestions/pressure.

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