Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Elevator Ettiquette

I work in a sort of building complex with 12-13 floors and so I have to use the elevator.

I think Nigerians seem amused when you look them in the eyes and say- Good morning or Hello.

Even though I am not a morning person- I am quite cherry when I get to work plus its polite to smile and say hi.

I have noticed that people find elevator small talk uncomfortable.

3 incidents.

I was going down one day and I ran into a guy who is friends with a friend of mine- And I saw his ID card- and I started talking to him- he was ridiculously hostile- And by the time I finished he was smiling- and I'm like- so why were you frowning before-= You think my 6 foot self is checking for your 5 foot nothing ass?
Urgh.

The other day I was coming upstairs when- The elevator opened and I said hiiiii. And some Nigga started lecherously smiling at me. And said so you do not know me. And I said err no. He said- But you said Hi- And I'm like- I stepped into this elevator, off course I said hi. And we all started laughing. Apparently- you only say hello to persons you know in this building.

Today- I was coming in and an elevator was leaving, I waved them away- because
1- I did not feel like running
2- I did not feel like running
3- I did not feel like running for the elevator.

So I waited and took another one.
#sidebar in my building there are 4 elevators 2 are akin to flying british airways ie. they are posh- have see through doors and people who sit in them all day and man the elevator.

The other two are akin to sosoliso- they haven't been renovated and all that- they seem like death traps.


Anyways the next available one this morning was a sosoliso-esque one so I jumped in with another guy the doors started closing. As they were closing two ladies appeared- Did not ask to hold it, but out of the goodness of my heart I held it open for them. These girls came in and did not have the courtesy to say thank you. Offcourse I gave them both the look over- and then they mumbled Hello. to which I replied with another stinker side eye. They quickly looked away. While I kept staring at them. And when they got off on their floor, the relief in their eyes was evident.

side bar- I am not a bully.

Anyways these are my experiences thus far- Although to be fair- I have met people who are extra excited to speak to you. Like the guy who i struck up a conversation with by asking if he was fasting- and he replied by saying I look haggard abi? And we started laughing.

 I like easy meaningless conversations in the elevator. Makes the two second elevator ride almost worth it.

I don't care- I love it!

pss: You know the law course I am taking and attempting to write a paper on, its about Human rights abuse in the Niger Delta. It is horribly sad. It breaks my heart every time. And the kind of things I see, It is almost as though we Nigerians deserve to be treated the way we are treated by other people/countries.

Today for the first time in the long time- I considered seeking a dual citizenship. I know, I know.

Proudly Nigerian but the need to stay alive is more important.

pss: I am sure in hind sight, Ken saro Wiwa would have supported Ojukwu in his Biafran quest had he known the same Nigeria he fought to keep was the same one that had him killed.

Urgh and now I have deviated. Oh well.




1 comment:

beforesheimplodes said...

Where is the like button

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