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Me- you are not my boyfriend.

Him- I don't care, I just want to be next to you.

*Emile Sande's free playing in the background* 

Metaphor

Him- You are so lucky you are female. You can just come back to your hotel room and chill and watch tv and entertain your self and stuff.

Me- HUH?

Him- You dont even get bored. Like if it was a man, you'd have to find yourself entertainment.

Me- What?

Him- Or wait is it every night you would close from work, then go your hotel talking to your wife and start popping champagne.

Me- *Amused* No way.

Him- You know I do not mean literal champagne popping.

 * simulates a champagne popping motion with his hands in his lower body region*

Wait for Me.

This song has so many memories. attached.

If you love me, wait for me.

If you love me, Plan with me.

:)

Beautiful

I feel most beautiful when I wake up with no decisions I can regret.

When I listen to John mayer.

When I just get my nails done- actually this makes me feel like my life is in order.

When I can cater to those in my life.

Nothing Makes me happier than being able to cater to the people who I care about.

and being happy makes me feel like a princess.

Have you heard the John Mayer XO cover?

So beautiful plus I can actually hear what the words of the songs are.

So hauntingly beautiful.

You kill me Boy- XO.

I think I need a celebratory drink. But imma wait till june.

I lost so much weight over the weekend being ill.

I like what I look like naked- I think My bikini photos are gonna look smashing.

So top tip from me- If you wanna lose weight- fall ill.

Another thing. I have really pronouced cheek bones, so when Im contoured, I look like I had botox shots- Does this happen to anyone else?

Or just me?

Realize, v; Realization, n.

When I turned 25, I hosted a very delicious party for all my friends in Dundee.

And when it was mid night,  after cleaning up and all my guests had gone.

I stood there in the living room of my flat staring, pleased and elated.

Then it hit me, you never came, which was not fine.

You had no plans to come but that was fine.

Most important - you would never come.

And that was fine too.

Objectify

At Karaoke when I spaced out, glass of water in my hand and stared into space.

My friend asked me why I was staring at your penis.

I spluttered, spat out my drink and cackled.

You looked up and asked- You know it’s wrong to objectify the opposite sex right?

And I replied – You are one to talk. You have been oogling me all night.

I'm going to start doing this thing where I use a scenario I have experienced to define a word.

Its how the Lover's dictionary by David Levithan was written and it is so damn good.  

The weekend

Not the lyricist. But my ACTUAL weekend.

Was spent being well, then sick,  then well again.

Lets start from friday.

Home girl Uloh popped into town, and "destiny's child"- with me as beyonce off kess, was complete.

we went to somewhere called Nouveau. AMAZING atmosphere. I really liked that it was done up in minimalist decor. Plus I had really good company.

I was also under the strictest orders to not allow myself be toasted.

Apparently I am getting waaay too much action for a Lagos girl in Abuja. LOL ( the rumors are not true)

Fast forward to attempting to sort out my plans on Saturday I woke up, did my nails

and felt so sick.

Sicker than I had felt in my life. So I threw up. ( and smudged my freshly done nails while I was at it)

#sidebar shout out to models who are able to self induce vomiting- You are stars, in your own right.

And then I threw up again.

went to a pharmacy to get something to stop the 1- killer headache AND stomach ache and intense nausea.

Took the suggested drugs- then threw up AGAIN.

took a second set ( because I bought two sets),  had lunch then ( You guessed it)

Threw up again.

Now this wasn't that cute hold my hair back while I vomit because I had too much too drink last night throw up session.

This was an actual medical condition where my vomit reflexes were on over drive and my tummy wont accept any food.

So after that session, I got dressed and attended a wedding, because you know I'm not a quitter.

Fast forward to getting back from the wedding, I threw up again.

Then I had my cousin who is a medical student come and see me, she suggested I eat dry garri and take an ORT solution.

I did, went to bed, woke up AND THREW UP AGAIN.

Then I knew I had to go to the hospital.

Went to Maitama general hospital- which was almost deserted, although there was no bed space.

This hospital visit is a different post all together but I couldn't be hydrated with a IV solution because - bomb blast victims had taken all the bed space.


Anyways two injections later I was sent on my merry way.

fast forward to Sunday.

throwing up had ended. But I had to keep going back to take shots.

we had a karaoke session, and all went to take my shots.

I was freaked out, I haven't had an injection in maybe 10 years.

I'm hardly ever really sick. to be honest, So all that vomiting for no just cause freaked me the hell out.

Anyways - That's how my weekend went.

Ps- Is there a way I can put up a song and attach it to a certain post so you can listen to it once you click on the link?

so my readers can read my posts with the songs I wrote them playing in the same back ground??

IT GUYSSSSSS- sort this out.

Also. after much self evaluation- which I have been doing a whole lot of since hotel living and too much time on my hands.

And it turns out- I have somehow morphed into someone I would hate if I met.

And I'm like do I own this change or do I take steps to not be this person.

*walking past the fork in the road and going straight on this one*

AKA doing nothing and watching how it all plays out but feeling immensely sorry for ALL the possible collateral damage that might occur as I take this course of action.

Actually, I do not feel sorry for shit.

And I should. And I hate that I do not.- But not as much as I should.

#np Collide- Howie day
#np Headlines- Drake