Mothers day

 It's clear how I feel about having children, but it is so strange because I absolutely adore my dogs.

I love having them around even though the wahala is too much and because of them I sometimes feel like I never stop working. because I come home after a long day of work and then I have to attend to them because my husband has been with them all day and so he can get a breather.

And whenever I want to whine about it I remember women who have actual children and can't afford to be tired.

Honestly the UX of children leaves a lot to be desired.

I think one of the hardest parts about raising children is how no matter how terrible they are you are stuck with them for life. LOL

Anyway my uncle keeps telling me I did not want dogs and now I have two I love, maybe it'll be the same for kids.

And I'm like- can I board my child when I go away for the week?

*crickets*

Anyway happy mothers day to all the momma's in the building. I hope you realize that you people are doing the lords work and should be handsomely rewarded for it.

Currently

 Listening

To non stop Sungba and Omo Ope. by Asake. My friend vanessa thinks he has a certain sexy je ne sais quoi, and honestly after watching the Sunga video a total number of uncountable times, I'm forced to admit she is absolutely correct. The way he caught the stack at 0:35 seconds. Whoever cut the video did such a fantasic job because, that shit was sexy AF.

Wondering

How the hell Olamide discovers these acts and how he is able to nurture them so decently and not eclipse them with his ego and greatness, I mean YBNL has churned out Adekunle Gold, Fireboy and now Asake. That man has the midas touch.

Reading

Nothing for leisure and it shows, but I have queued up the Pakistani retelling of pride & prejudice to read this weekend although I have a ton of work and a birthday party at home because my niece is 3!!! it was just yesterday I went to yankee to look after her- but still will be nice to be able to read something.

Contemplating  

The state of Nigeria and just saying, it is well o.

ALSO CONTEMPLATING GOING FOR CARNIVAL IN 2023.

also seriously contemplating taking my husbands last name, but logistically its a Nightmare. and I really like my own name but I have double barelling. Women really go through it.

Alsooooo thinking of asking my boss for a raise. Because I dey work die.

Enjoying

Being a dog mum. I can not bloody believe I have TWO dogs. They are really the best thing except they shed so BLOODY MUCH. It's sickening. there is dog hair everywhere. I am considering giving them one of those non shed potions. But I really really really enjoy having them.

Being married.  Honestly it makes sense why the first one did not work. It simply could not have.

That's about it.

Hope you are well, I am also looking forward to the public holiday next week and in May as well!!!

Thanksgiving and Life lately

 The randomest thing happened to my household last night.

The former help in our house came with a team of armed robbers to attack the house.

Fortunately he was apprehended and is going to jail for life with an attempted murder charge.

My mother is obviously so shaken up, and more than that deeply disappointed and also seriously considering what she did wrong, and I keep telling her nothing but she does not believe.

Its rough. But we had a thanksgiving, and we have gone to court, so its over and done with.

And frankly crazy.

Lately I've been feeling the need to learn how to sew.

I love clothes and I'm ready to get serious with it to be honest.

So maybe a weekend class?

Who knows? but I am ready sha.

Whenever lent comes, I get so introspective, It is probably the best time for me to plan the whole year.

or at least my travel for the whole year...

Be that as it may..... we have a short list:

Jamaica- Yes again, I know but I love it so sorry

New York- Because Jamaica commute

Dubai- Because why not

India- Because I have a conference AND hello Taj Mahal

Rwanda- Because I have a wedding I can not afford to miss

Honestly I am very happy with that list, also might make a quick trip to porto novo to do the luxury lodge here so I'm hoping and praying that it comes through, maybe a girls trip or maybe a wellness trip? the lodge sleeps 6 and honestly it'll be nice to get away. but we'll see.

Asides these I can not believe it is April ALREADY!

This year is FLYING.

and I'm ready to start flying too. I'm feeling overwhelmed with gratitude & happiness. :)

On life moving forward whether or not we want it to.

 If you have read this blog long enough, you'd know my mother raised me and my siblings.

You'd also know my father has his new family and he did not look after my siblings and I.

My father who I have seen a grand total of maybe 6 times since he left my family randomly when I was 9, is now very ill.

My brother, not my blood brother, but my fathers child from another woman who happens to be older than my sister & we found out about on facebook in 2004 when we went on a family holiday to Atlanta, has been messaging me to update me on the status on his health.

It is so crazy how little there is to life.

How when you make your bed, you have to lie in it.

Honestly I did not think I cared so much about my father, till I felt tears prickle behind my eyes listening to the voice note my brother sent about his situation.

Ah well.

What I am deciding to learn in 2022

 is to receive things that come easily.

I'm working on a mindset shift from working tooth and nail ( which is not a bad thing o), it is just that I am enjoying significantly the restful state of having things done for me and being able to receive them with a clear mind instead of thinking of how to repay the person.

The thought that if someone does something for you, you MUST repay them is absurd, because the world is the world and who knows what channels you had given into that will bring you the blessings you seek?

Pre-empting learning to receive comes with letting God have the final say and for someone who is a proclaimed go getting self starting hardworking do it myself babe, it has not been as easy as I anticipated to let go of the reins, but the ease. WHEWWWWW.

Also I'm learning to receive assistance from people who I have once helped and want to give me something in return, prior I'd have brushed it off but now I'm like - why yes you can.

I have really enjoyed a life that has been relatively easy but lately these last few weeks have me really considering a deeper rest.

Intense receiving from the universe

inspecting and observing and really interrogating my relationship with certain things and actually deciding and believing that all the things I desire are necessities not just add on, and that all the things are available to me.

That being said I am really looking forward to receiving big things in 2022!

Lent 2022

 One thing that heralds lent is the end of Carnival. 

I know, I know.

Carnival is back in 2023 and I am very excited. Be that as it may, lent is here now and for the 40 odd days I have grand plans.

The most important is to watch what I say, while I have always been positive generally I am now even more committed to saying only the best things about myself.

I am finding that the more I speak positively about myself and my life, the better it gets.

The second thing I am committing to this lent is to speak positively about everyone I encounter, my hope is that God continues to give me the grace to do this

The 3rd thing I am committing to is heavily visioning of what I want my life to look like in the near future. It is great now, but I am aiming for exceedingly and abundantly more that is perfect for me.

For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned- Matt 12:37

I will medidate on a couple of bible verses through out this lenten season and by the end of the period I should have a solid sheet of affirmations culled from the exercise.

I am learning to be specific in my desires and I am very happy with the out come.

Happy Ash Wednesday.

Thank God its February

 Because January Sucked Ass.

It was an awful awful month. well not really awful, but I experienced such dissapointment that it has thrown me off and I'm grappling to get my life back on track.

First I did not get my Visa so I could not attend my residency. And I did not think I will be that dissappointed. Honestly the level of disappointment shocked and continues to shock me.

That visa rejection made me know at the back of my mind that I need to start my second passport journey with immediate alacrity. Can I write from lagos? yes, will the quality be the same- who knows?

Actually I know, and because I know I am mad irritated, can you believe that I was the only one who could not attend because I did not get the visa, hello 3rd world country.

I do not think I have been this upset in my whole life, It is seeping into everything, literally its been weeks and I'm still so snappy and I cant seem to snap out of it.

That being said, Thank God it is a new month, its so strange being so grouchy. Writing this makes me realize it is ONE thing that sucked in January and I've allowed it taint the whole month.

OMG another terrible thing happened and I am fasting & Praying to turn it around. Honestly cant wait for Halleuyah Challenge to come so I can get what I'm asking for. Hopefully I get the thing I was asking for, because lord knows I need a miracle.

On the upside something good happened to me in January, I was able to capture for my passport. in a week, everyone knows the madness of Nigerian passport office now.

And even more lush, is the news that Drop Box is BACK BITCHES. So that means Imma get a new passport and A NEW  american visa and I will apply for my Uk visa too.

I am very excited about those, since the world is now treating covid like a flu,means I will be able to get back into seeing the world.

Anyway I am hoping that february sees me actualizing my goals for 2022 because as the good book says, better the end of a matter than the beginning there of, alsoooooooooooooo

on my 2022 to do remains to get my book written and published, set up a site for my writing & social commentary career, physically move every day of the week [ or maybe 3] yet to decide and finally GO BACK TO THE PIANO.

I swear my to do every year has been the same for years. TBH this year the only thing I know for certain is that I'm learning crypto and I'm relocating.

Hopefully all my other goals get met.

But I am still looking for how to shake off the disappointment in my soul.

Also my cousins cut my siblings and I off because of some family drama and I'm just now realizing how sad I am about that. It sucks

On the upside, I now have two dogs.

Well we had to get a second dog because the first one was hella bored. and getting him potty trained HAS BEEN SOMETHING, at least now he is no longer shitting indoors.

Butttttttttttttttttttt, I love those two animals very very very much, I just need to invest in a lint roller. Ha

Happy 2022. I hope it goes splendidly and we get all our heart desires.