Update

I had an interesting weekend.

It started off on friday with me visiting my tailor's studio in Magodo.

Yes I know it is at the end of the world but beautiful clothes must be made, worn and slayed in.

Plus I am really against that aso-ebi culture of having a dress being the exact same one someone else has on at an event.

Yeah call me a DIVA I'm leaning into that anyways.

So fast forward into the day I stop at my uncle's house for a pick up that turns into a crying fest for me ( not unusual), and then a conversation about education in Nigeria- Nigerians outside Nigeria ALWAYS seem to know the solutions to all the problems we have. I guess when you don't have to deal with the daily Naija problems you can see clearly enough to solve the bigger ones. meh

He also supports donald trump. But I'm not surprised, he has never really been a kind person. And I would know, his wife is my aunt.

Came to work and got a message from my lawyer that totally demoralized me.
Called Itunu to go and clarify and turns out my lawyer might be right.
Also I was warned not to tell lies.

I do not lie as often as I used to, infact as much as I can I have consciously decided to stop telling lies. It's not as difficult as people imagine.

Anyway
I meet up with Debo at twenty five and drink star and sprite. Also the moon was really pretty.

Checked my emails and I got a message from the boy I liked and is now meh- more on this later.
I reply the email.
I'm slightly irritated but I reply it as cordially as I can.

I get home and my mother is sulking, my sister is in the house and it is also her wedding anniversary.
She tells me how she has dreamt that I will get married soon.

Fewer things rub me the wrong way than my sister and this God told me about your marriage talk.
Now I know she means well but to be honest- I wish she would really just leave me alone because it is really irritating and grinds my gears especially since I am not the type to tell people how God will do their own when they congratulate me on anything. It reeks of faux modesty. Take your thank you and go please.

Saturday my lawyer sends me another message that just has me dissolving into a pool of tears, My mother sees me and suggests I start working for God.
LOL.
She prays with me and then tells me to make sure I show up at the wedding today, also to look Ghen Ghen.

her "best friend" step son is getting married.

She even had professional make up artist come to the house and get her dolled up. ME: okay o.

She looked super cute too.

I call Eneni and cry some more she tells me to take sometime to wallow then shower and go about my day.

I get a message from the boy who I used to really like.
And that puts me over the edge.
Like in that moment I know that this ship has sailed and is never coming back again.
I do not reply it.
I have never felt so insulted in my whole entire life.
And maybe at that moment I was not too pleased with how my life was looking.
and most likely  his treatment is collateral damage.


I go to the wedding looking like a Spice. my mother's best friend is so excited she starts telling everyone I'm her niece. She also mentions to me that she was the one that introduced the bride and the  groom. She said it maybe 500 times and I was reminded why I never picked her calls all the times she called me.

Maybe she has a nephew waiting for me somewhere and she really believes her match making game is on 100. either way I'm not interested.
The wedding is fun. I run into her 22 year old son who is definitely extra excited to see me and wants us to sit down and gist but is unfortunately leaving town tomorrow. would I be at the party at his parent's house?

I know I'm veering dangerously into cougar territory but he is a really sweet kid. I remember him from sunday school.

I say maybe, depends on how I'm feeling. we chat for a bit and I leave.

I call the boy to drop off what he had asked me to buy him and he text's me that he will call me shortly.
He does not call me shortly. So I send him a message about where would be good to meet him and drop it off.

Sunday morning

He sends me a message about how he fell asleep.

I call him and I am frosty AF. he can't understand it. I'm uninterested in explaining it.
And I actually still can't understand it.
He is apologetic and insists its a slight jab. He is sorry. He misses me. I've been back for a week and I haven't even tried to see him. But I am posting photo's on instagram ( that one made me LOL). but not thaw. just laugh. I'm clearly having a better life since after Rwanda and I have dumped him. ( I neither confirm nor deny)

And it is at that point I realize that this chapter is really over. hashtag bittersweet


we make plans to meet up later in the day we both have commitments.
I have that party which my mum insists I attend and he has some work meetings and some stuff.
I say I will call you once I'm done.

I call T and ask if he wants to pop in for the party, he says sure around six ish. T has been in lagos too long he has finally understood that whatever you arrive at an event is the time you are supposed to be at the event, you can only be late for Visa appointment or International flights.

The party was basically a boozy brunch. Drank so much champagne ate Amala and something continental sat next to my mum's best friends 22 year old son and just had conversation.

Half way through something I was telling him he cuts me short and asks me, " what are you passionate about"

Me: Enjoyment.

Him: I respect the honest and simplicity of the answer.

What I do not tell him is that the cookie was crumbling in a way I did not anticipate and I might not be able to enjoy for much longer.

Me: Smile

Him: So how does that feed into your career?

Me: My dream job will be to be paid to travel and curate experiences and write about these in Magazines like GQ. Vogue.

Him: You are a model?

Me: LOL noooooo

HIm: so what are the magazines about

Me: I was saying it would be ideal to be a travel correspondent.
Him: Oh I zoned out.
Me: That's okay.

He leaves to do some home work I settle in to drinking and talking to lots of people and just generally having a good time.
Eventually everyone leaves except me so I settle in to finish reading "Fools die by Mario Puzo" and wait for T and his little brother.

He returns to say good bye properly, we do a bit more catching up, we drink champagne  ( and I actually tell him you have to tilt the glass to avoid the bubbles) he laughs at the discovery and he has to leave, flight to catch.


T eventually shows up, we eat and go see the parents of the groom. and get a tongue lashing about how lazy our generation is.
The boys are laughing I'm not. I tell them we got handed a failed state and I'm not going to sit down while the people that scattered it complain that we like enjoyment too much.

The Grooms father was distraught at the amount of champagne that was drunk at the wedding.
These boys only drink Champagne and Hennessy he lamented.

Me: wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Him: don't get me started the girls are equally as bad. they are singing all the Single ladies and they are all filing out I wanted to flog all of them.

Me: ah ahhhhhh.

Him: no o I hear all the things my sons tell me and he says the girls are too wicked.
Me: Everybody is wicked it is Nigeria that is making all of us wicked.

He talks a bit about how there is no moral fabric and how we worship money and how all the money he had he spent on educating his children and while they are doing good they really arent where he thought they will be.

Me in my mind: welcome to the expectations are cut short center called Nigeria.


We round off with an invitation for me to come and spend the weekend which I smile and say I will try to find sometime to pop in and then I head home.

I call the boy, he calls me back and we arrange a rendezvous in VI. I hand him his parcel and he says wow, all this attitude.

Me; LOL.

I get home to a very specific apologetic text that I don't reply. I hope he understands that this was collateral damage, because till now I don't even know why I'm this upset.
That ship has really sailed.
plus I need all the strength I have for the next 12 months so.





If there is anything this weekend showed me / told me/ taught me is that they don't serve champagne at pity parties so there is no point hosting them in my head and attending them in my life.


Here to a Monday full of restructuring of my life and just generally hoping all things fall into pleasant places.