Splurging

Soooooooooo

I have been having a mini crisis lately.

About what you ask?

Money- I answer. LOL

The last month I have freaked out so much about money it is something else,

And you know what makes it supper interesting - I kind of have no need to freak out.

Like for real.

But I'm still doing it.

I'm spending less, I'm saving more. I am budgeting for my holidays easily.

Like nothing has really changed.

Ps- I know I said I wanted to do local travel more this year.

So Off to Erin Ijesha I go

and guess who with.

you would never believe.

I hardly believe it myself.

EROS.

I am like WHATTTTT?

When He said yes to the trip, I was like oh yay. Then oh snap.

personally I asked out of courtesy so I could go on and ask someone else, So Imagine my confusion when- BOOM, Oga said yes.

So we are off to Erin Ijesha on saturday. with Truppr.

And I am so excited!

So back to Money.

Pss- I plan to do kajuru castle, yankari game reserve,  Calabar in december, Obudu sometime during the year and Enugu Just because.

Dear Universe- Make it work.

Back to money.

So I have been speaking to a bunch of recently married, about to marry and currently planning to get married people and I am all about the budgets.

Why- First wedding Quote I got was for N50m.

No Jokes. Fifty Million Nigerian Nairas.

and this cost was minus my outfit and minus the planners fees.

I was like #pause

Is this how much yall have been spending just casually?

Like that?

So I started making inquriy- N10million, N20million, N15million.

I asked around for excel spread budgets
and for tips to cutting costs.

As You might have gleaned from reading my blog- I am frugal.

I can not justify to my soul and spirit and being spending N20 million Naira on an event THAT- I really do not care that much about the people attending to feed them to stupor.

And before you people accuse me of eating other people's rice- I only try to eat fingerfood at these type events.

Anyways That is besides the point.

Since I already know I am having a weekday wedding- because Less crowd please.

And not a destination because in all fairness, Most of the people I would love to be at the wedding, Might be unable to attend due to costs.

Anyways I am sha calling more more transparency regarding costs, vendor attitudes and general cost reducing tips when planning a wedding.

And I am asking because, I am being honest with myself- I can list about 20 countries that N50million will take me to and I will be super lavish in the hotel rooms and stunt on the gram with my sunset silhouette photos and maybe get a butt lift- Not Like I need it AND lipsocution ( again not needed)

As I said there are easier ways to burn through cash- Or even make down payment on a condo in Eko atlantic- thaaaaannnnnnn

To make rice and chicken for people like Joro because Lagos wedding.

In my Opinon shaaaaaa.

Anyway to sate my worrying. I read my devotional today and virtual cookies for anyone who can guessthe serious sub that was the bible verse for the day?

Never mind_ I will tell you - for free:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:34 NIV).

And the whole thing was perfect and Today God. I quit this worrying about money.

How is lent going for yall- are we coping or are we holding fast to God's word?

I encourage us to please do the latter.

Valentine's shenanigans and other cool stories

So its 1am on the 15^th.

Hey Side chicks- wyd??

 

And I am in my hotel room ALONE. Because I was thinking sexy time with Eros over the phone?

Then I realized I did not travel with my travel rabbit.

Which is odd, because I always travel with it, but I was packing and was like- nah I do not need it

But then I co-hosted Valentines dinner at my girl Uloh’s house and OMG. Too much fun and too much drinking and 

#badbad

 

Those who know.

 

 

Anyways alcohol sort of turns on my engine- which is why I was like sexy time- BUT no rabbit & its lent.

So Imma show restraint.

Married people, do yall have sex during lent?

Side bar- people say I am too happy to be married.

What does this really mean?

Was out on Friday because Uloh really is the worlds biggest baby girl- anyways So I’m table top dancing alone- like just dabbing out of control and having a blast, and someone asks me- Are  you not married?

 

First of all- YOU know I am married. So *insert eyeroll*

Second- who made you judge and jury and extecutioner over married woman apporpriate behaviour?

Third- I’m not married to you.

 

So in conclusion- It really isnt your business you know?

I find that men are the first to hit you with ah we do not see you again- because Married. But when they see you- they be like- ah ah you are married why are you going clubbing.

 

And everytime I bump into one of them and they want to start talking about how, my wife will not do this or that I always tell them good thing I married my husband and not you.

Plus go and marry and stop telling me ALL the things your wife wont do abeg AH!

Anyway- For valentines day I decided to gift myself a body wax & scrub session and it was ahmazing.

I like to treat myself from time to time( ok most of the time) so when I saw the opportunity and the woman was going to come to my hotel room so I was like hell yasss.

It was an amazing session. It would have been perfect if my ipod  screen did not break during the week and leave me pondering if I need to buy a new ipod or just fix the screen.

 

Now because I have never bought myself any apply device before-I know. All the men in my life have found my love language- Apple devices so three ipods and 2 iphones later( no mac book yet) I might have to buy this one for the first time for myself. #colormeunimpressed

But the session was good without the music. All the screaming I did made for a good soundtrack.

I think Eros & I decided ( I think o!), because we did not discuss it explicity, that we arent doing Vals day. BUT I cant even imagine him going a year and no present, But since he gets side chick treatment of post vals gift- I’m thinking boxers? And maybe perfume? AND cake

No alcohol because 1- lent and 2- its pretty much like taking sand to the beach, he sells alcohol.

 

Dinner was really good tonight.

And I am thankful- for my abuja tribe. You lot are amazing.

No really. You take me in as I am. No questions asked.

I saw deadpool on Friday. AH-MAZINGGGGGG.

Loved it so much, currently thinking of going to see it again tomorrow.

I think inspite of how my life is currently panning out- I’m just going to be fluid you know and stay happy or joyful.

I’m a pretty joyful/postive person. Like for real

This isnt even advertising.

It is always happy moments with me, plus I always find a way around the impossible.

Did I tell you guys how I was able to see  Wakka the musical TWICE, sans one ticket?

As I said. I am really really really good at finding a way around and people love to help me. I Think It is my talent.

I have been unable to finish a book. This is the third book I have tried reading that is good but I can not finish. Like can’t hack it. 

Finally on being transparent in your being why it is a gift and curse. Gift- No shadow of turning, you know who you are #teamIsaidwhatIsaid

Curse- Everyone knows its you. My friends read this blog and are like- I hear you. It is so unapologetically you.

And I am like look- Its me but written and they are like nah. Maybe they are on to something? Dunno- and couldn’t care less. I just find it odd.

I know I said finally but semi finally- Totally need a break for the weekend and thinking of erin ijesha water falls.

This is in my bid to do more Nigerian travelling.

FINALLY- does anyone here have like connect in the south african consulate?

I might be needing it- so if any of my readers are ballers like daddy is an ambasador to southie- abeg fall in my Dms- it go down.

 

No I’m for real. Can’t deal with the struggle for visa. 

Ladies when getting a husband- try to find some one with blue and/or red passport.

It would sate your wanderlust so seriously. *sigh*

I have such a hunger to see the whole world- Maybe it is why I read so much.

Pss- I made a major executive decision in my marriage on Saturday and felt super pleased with myself.

Went to the market to get sheets made ( hashtag the good wife) and even though Eros insisted he only wanted white sheets- I decided to buy this grey and this colored one.

 

Would he be mad when he sees them- I hope not. They were really pretty and white  is a really boring sheet color plus- It reminds me so much of hotel living. 

Also I miss Eros so much. So so so much.. It literaly just hit me that if I was in lagos and we were in bed, I would have stopped blogging  at Those who know. Because sexy time.

Eros – if you read this ( you never will hopefully) you should have come to abuja for the weekend.

I spoke to my momma today ( I miss her so so so much too) sooooooooooooooooo much, when I spoke to her today, she said ah, you did not come to lagos this weekend?, she was so sure I would have come into town.

 

Me- really?, I’m saving 

Her- you have grown so much. 

On vals day, Lovers and friendships.

I like valentines day.

I have always made effort to you know do vals day elaborately, when I was much younger.

I think I give really bad gifts so I tend to just pop cash in your account.

I'm serious- The love language I'm fluent in- is money giving.

But check this- I can not stand people who borrow and not pay back.

if I am borrowing you money. HAVE some drops of decency in your blood to pay back. haba.

Anyway

So normal vals day for me is hosting few of my friends.

Drinks. home cooked food and yoruba boy slander.

then next day spend it with the man in my life.

Like that has always been how I rolled.

Now that I'm married, I'm just here like- what will I do?

Then boom!

I'm in Abuja for work- Means I have to host here right?

LOL- Wrong. Manager said Go home and be with your husband, or invite him over.

I'm here like hmnn. Ok

On friendships. You guys I am such an amazing friend.

I'm serious you know that friend that just lets you be.  Seriously. I'm a wavy friend and I never steal your shine. I believe we can both shine equally as bright.

I'm not even writing up and advert for myself.


yesterday two different women called me their favorite people.

And I made a break through with my prayer request.

I had a milestone and finally jumped over it. And I was so happy.

Like YASSSSSSS.


Again I love my friends. Like I take friendship quite seriously.

I might not seem like it but I really do and I feel like because of how there I am- people generally tend to take advantage of my there-ness.

And fritter away when they get better- almost like I'm an emotional crutch.

I was going to say no more- but is that what God would want?

Truly?

I think not.

But I want to find a way to get as much as I give from my friendships.

I'm majorly self sufficient so I have really morphed into a prayer type plus I really believe everything works out for my good often.

Things just always happen to play out like this.

But Im lowkey worried about tweaking the dynamics of friendships.

One of the major reasons I'm not having bridesmaids- ASIDES the humongous cost- really is that I do not want to have to choose, and people get left behind.

See I am considerate as I am frugal.

No point forcing 10 twenty something year old women into wearing dressses they do not care about because meh.

I have decided to start a podcast.

Because you guys- I have so much to say and so much free time in the buj- Plus I already have an exisiting sound could account- Although I might need to open a new one. Ha!


I am currently shopping around for wedding dresses, Although I would love to rent. If anyone knows where I can rent a wedding dress from- Kindly point me in that direction.

And happy Valentines day in advance.

Consistency might not be the key

One of the biggest problems of NOT having had a HUGE ass white wedding yet; is how no one ever believes I'm married.

I'm serious I tell men people that I'm married and they sneer like where?

You guys seriously.

Anyways so there is this Senior Manager at my job who keeps TRYING, OMG trying.

If he faced the kingdom of God with the persistence he has used to try to get my phone number ehn- By now all other things will most definately have been added unto him by now - myself excluded, you know, because God frowns upon adultery and the firm would most likely frown upon inter office romance gone sour.

But I digress.

Today i'm in the stairwell of my office building. You know just using the stairs sometimes, because gained all the weight I lost over the holiday.


so here I am- and he bumps into me on the floor landing.

and we make small talk all the while flashing my ring- Abi they said men leave women who are engaged alone?
-side bar: what is the english translation of "Shebi" and "Abi"

Sha sha. first elevator shows up, and I'm like " your ride is her, are you not going down"

Him: nah I am talking to you i can always get another one.

#pause

Because now I knew he was just trying to ask me to drinks OR dinner AGAIN.

And he was like how are my sisters, ( since one time I came to balogun market with them and he bumped into us at the carpark) and went on about how I have tried my hardest to not let him know me past the back of my braids.

And the inevitable- we are so much fun together, maybe we should do drinks sometime or a movie or dinner?

Anything that works for me?

"How about you bring a plus one to my wedding?" - Is what I should have said

But instead I said- We'll see.

He said- I've been in the firm for 2 years now. and we are still seeing.

I replied him- we'll see.

Anyways my past few days have been for lack of a better phrase " Emotionally draining"

But We shall over come, Just waiting for patience to have its perfect work and all that jazz.

Hope you guys are fine, and are keeping to all your resolutions.

I'm still bridling my tongue and watching everything that goes into my mouth with the vigilance and diligence (so help me God) of the 5 virgins who remembered extra oil.

Because this girl is not trying to grow fat under the guise of- But I was stressed.

meh.

In all of this I still remain thankful .

Finally one other thing

Wedding planning

ARE YOU NIGERIANS FUCKING MAD?

I know I am a bit frugal. some people even call me skint * side eye at Eros* I have better use for my money than to feed people who wont give me present.

But even despite my flesh- I was willing to shell out a pretty penny for a wedding ceremony befitting of a Lagos big babe MINUS the damn sparklers,

but when I saw the budget- The opportunity costs of a white wedding sprang to mind and have remained at the fore of my mind, and I'm not even an economist.

meh.

That moment

When someone askes you are you okay?

And you are really weepy and you just keep saying I'm fine even if you aren't but you can't really articulate your self so you just drown in your tears from inside out, you know?

You probably don't. And I hope you never know.

I've been so weepy lately. Everything keeps making me cry. And I'm so sick and tired of crying so much.

I'm down to every night now. 

My mum is worried. My husband is worried and bought me a dog. 

I DO NOT WANT A DOG.

While I sound like a complaint box- which I swore to my self I won't do this year- which is why I keep saying I'm fine,

Because maybe if I say it enough; it would be true and I would be fine.