Thursday, September 10, 2015

10 things no one told me about....


Today is the second day I am wearing a waist trainer and the day can not come to an end soon enough because - It's getting harder and harder to breathe.

1. It is uncomfortable.
     Very is  not sufficient enough as an adverb to describe this uncomfortableness ( I made up this word)

2. You can not take deep breaths.
    Because really what is air.

3. You can not sit down comfortably. Or stand up from your car seat. Or Drive.
    Or change your gear without gasping for air and gasps are limited because – waist cincher. 

4. When you  eventually ( sucessfully- without falling over your self) sit. 
    Its in a chest out, borom out position ( QC girls you know what I mean)

5. You cant put them on alone.
    Well I couldn’t and had to get assistance from Eros who mocked me  and severely warned me not to make any noise about it.

6. You constantly feel like doing a number 2.

7. You cant eat large regular portions. or small bird sized portions or anything really.
    Because what do you need food for when its not going to go down anyway.

    That little roll of flesh between your bra and the waist cincher will get throughly brusied- but figure 8 so.

9. You have to stretch at your own peril.
     It is hard to squeeze all that fat back into the cincher.

10. It is  really, generously, thoroughly,  truly, honestly Uncomfortable

Those instagram models who lie and say it should be slightly uncomfortable are liars.

There are not enough adverbs to sufficiently and properly convey how uncomfortable waist cinchers are.

Which leads me to inquire- has this always been as uncomfortable or is Ore just being whiny?

Three or Four Other things

New York.

I am still hoping, Praying and believing for a Miracle for New York this weekend.
My friend is getting married there this weekend, and due to poor planning and relying on family I got into this mess.

Weight loss , Gym and gaining weight at 30.

Why does everyone say I am lazy at the gym? I swear I put my back into it.
or whatever I can put really( I did 90 sit ups the other day)
Ps- why does every woman who has bragged about being skinny and never having to watch what they eat suddenly get betrayed by her body once she turns 30?

Not like I am complaining since I am already fat- and you know what they say, there is always room at the top or bottom.

Edge control works

Like it actually does, BUT you need to brush it in with a tooth brush ( what? I had no idea)
I would just apply it like cream and cry foul play because my baby hairs weren't getting LAAAAID.
Speaking of hair- what to do with my hair? weave, braid ghana weaving or just pack it and be going?

Instagram Locations
I know a few of our Instagram honeys LOVE this shit so hopefully someone will explain it to me.
WHY are your holiday photos tagged,BUT, your real life daily, everyday photos NOT tagged?
This isn't even shade. I am trying to be a travel blogger so I need to know if this is a legitimate thing or awon I'm on vacation opressors are trying to shit on us.

I know I said 3 or 4 but finally, I am currently attending the Mr and Mrs better half series and It is really good. I like real life examples of marriges that aren't perfect. ( instagram marriage relationships) I see you.

Anyway if you are intrested in attending its on at the Elevation church Lekki, Second roundabout.
Lots of discourse was about- Full disclosure was seriously suggested with wisdom and discretion.

I really liked church; I wonder why I do not go as often as I should be going.

Last Last Last.
Is the number of female friends who have bemoaned being single to me but all got boyfriends and conveniently forgot to mention it.
Look, it hurts.
Why won't you share your good news with me.
Plus you know I'm getting married anyway what am I going to do with your own boyfriend?

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