Friday, May 1, 2015

on assessing one's self

The problem I have.

And it really eats at me because I seem to be an anomaly is that I tend to judge myself my the standards with which I judge others.

Which makes no sense really because if I can not give myself and my circle a break where are they going to get it from?

these standards obviously make me a really horrible friend.

for the most part and it's sad, So if you are my friend AND I have been acting weird.

It;s not you. It's me who is having a hard time not accepting the fact that you are human and you make mistakes and at the end of the day what most people want is not to be alone ( even though I think it is madness)

But I will need to accepting different views exist and people will do what they need to do to get ahead even if it is rubbish and harmful.

I need to find a balance between wanting the best for the friends I have and accepting what they have decided will be their best.

I need to reconnect on a level that has zero judgement with my friends.

I plan to go back to alcohol, soon because my weekend in vegas needs me to have developed some alcohol tolerance.

But I am afraid of drinking. What if I have another horrible alcohol induced experience?

I want to learn to let people be.

I shaved my legs last night. ( I swore I would only wax them since the time I cut myself shaving my legs).

It also led to me having the most decadent sex I have had in a while - So no, I'm not really mad at me breaking my vow of no shaving.

No one told me that after doing kegels for a while, your vagina ACTUALLY GETS TIGHTER.

I mean that is the aim really - but I could swear it was just a fad.

So 10 sessions into kegel exercises, I'm like um.

Maybe I should space them out??

Alsooooo why can weight loss not be as swift as kegel results? nvm I already know the answer to that.

On a lighter note- there has been this girl I liked on instagram, Like her weaves, make up- you know general lagos girl but I have just been drawn to her for no just cause.


But I never followed her because - even I am self aware enough to know that famzing -iz not allowed.

today I was telling my fiance how I liked this girl and blah blah blah and he said- lemmie see her

Oh I know her, next time I will introduce you to her

Children of God I followed her so fast.

I read a lot of books, and there are FEW Nigerian authors I can relate to.

I want Nigerian chick-lit authors who talk about Nigerian men, and traffic and being female in Nigeria that I can relate to.

While I Love sex and the city- lets face it. I am never going to live that carrie bradshaw-esque life In Lagos..

So Nigerian writers- I need you people to get to it.

Speaking of relatable Nigerian experiences - LASTMA caught me in Ikeja yesterday.

I tweeted about it and it was a pretty pleasant experience.

I even dashed the Lastma woman money because once Buhari enters

One chance.

ha ha ha

One more thing.

What is up with NEPA in Nigeria? Like ahn ahn no fuel, no Light I'm just here like *meh*




1 comment:

mizchif said...

Too many comments for this post.

First i have to admit that i am a judgina and i tend to pass judgement while perched on my throne, BUT i have made enough mistakes personally to learn to cut every one some slack. I also know that as adults/individuals no matter what people tell you as advice you are most likely going to do what you wanna do anyway and you're the one who will have to live with it. SO i don't try to enforce my standards especially with my friends. I want my friends to be able to come to me for honesty without judgement.

You still haven't told me this no alcohol story. Also i need to do Vegas. Again.
By shave i hope you mean Nair/Veet. There's just a sexy/i can conquer the world feeling that comes with depiltation. I'm not jealous. But you've just reminded me that i absolutely MUST get a brazillian this weekend because reasons.

I want to be that Nigerian/Lagos chick lit writer. Like i know she's me and I'm her, but lazy. Also a little scared.

I've been mising that NNPC fuel from last Saturday. Once it finishes, issallova. I'm too cute to queue.

Reckless

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