Today I went to church, for the 1st time in a LOOONg time. I don't even remember how long ago it had been. But that dint make me cry.
Neither was it the fact that I ran into my church member who had been barren for 11years with her baby in her arms. Nope that didn't do it.
I'll tell you what did. But 1st I'll digress.
Xmas is a really special period for me. I go home spend time with family and all that. I also tend to meet new people and make new resolutions and never keep them. Not intentionally off course. Last Year I made a lot of Resolutions one centering around crying. Bout how I won't cry for the wrong reasons. Including music.
The Reasn I went to church was I was forced. My mum woulda raised hell so I just went with my friend. It turns out. I was rather glad I went. Christain songs move me. Not to ears or any of those things. But they really touch me and Get me thinkn. Thank You CU.
During the Carol service... A particular song was sung.(I hope dats right) and I started Crying. Not heart wrenchn sobs like ppl see in sd movies or attention seeking tears but those tears u don't even know are coming down till u touch ur Face and u realise it. Yup that kind. Strangely it happend twice. 1st was the hymn the First Noel. Trust me I was shocked too. Why shud this Random hymn move me to tears well I stopped my self.
The first tear jerker was 'Now behold the Lamb' my eyes got misty just typing that. The lines why u love me so lord I shall never know.. Ur d precious lamb of God. Something deep in me stirred. Asides d beautiful renderition. I had to caution my self falling on my knees. I'm not a perfect persn. Far from it. Infact I dnt try. But at church today I was reminded that a perfect being loves me perfectly and I'm undeserving. I assume that made me cry. I wonder if my friend Noticed. I doubt.
Second the hymn 'holy night' the line 'fall on ur knees' that was enuf to get me back in tearVille. I dnt mind. Its just Amazing how less than 24 hrs ago I was at Insomnia and there I was crying silently in d church pew. I wonder how that wud make me feel as God. Lookn down.
That also isn't an issue.
Issue is this I Cried today.
Strangely I'm not ashamed bout crying in daddy's house.
Even more strange is d fact that if that scene were re-enacted I won't mind crying again.
And o just so u know I've cried for stranger reasons. Trust me.
HRS.
#np Omooba D'Prince.
3 comments:
Nice read. I like the line 'I was reminded that a perfect being loves me perfectly and I'm undeserving'
OREEEE!!!! LoL...That Kirk Franklin song does same to me as well! Sigh...It is well boo! Jesus loves u! Nd crying isnt bad jo (as i am a cry baby) *kisses*
Reading your posts, I can see how you often go 'back and forth' in faith. I want you to know that it is not bad. Once upon a time, God spoke to me. He said, "Moyo, whatever happens [whatever you do], don't stop coming." - He was literaly speaking from Matthew 11:28.
Thanks for sharing your experience. keep blogging.
Check out my blog too if you can http://dynamiqueprofesseur.blogspot.com
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