Merry Christmas

 One thing about me- I'm not leaving ANYTHING to chance, Like I will plan my way around anything and everything and if things fall apart last minute I'd be like ah- God your turn, and he is like- I thought you'd never ask. and Boom - all things go my way.

All of this is to say I am having a SMASHING christmas szn. Obviously not as fabulous as what I'd have had in lagos, BUT this is def one for the books.

I have seen the christmas lights two cities away, had dinner and drinks with friends, then ended up at a bar in a casino and met the loveliest babe who promised to take us under her wings.

Then had a christmas party that was so much fun, we were literally the last to leave. It has been such a glorious run, I wanna thank me for making these plans and following through.

Merry Christmas to everyone, My skin is currently in shambles, for reasons best known to it, honestly at this point I don't know again- I'm handing it over to God because wetin?

Alsoooooo, my books I ordered black friday from lagos actually came, might spend tomorrow reading either one of them or maybe the alchemist.

One of the wildest things about moving here just feels like we have given ourselves permission to live the lives we want and now it is beginning to enter all the other area's of our lives as well. Crazy.

Another wild thing is- how much adjustment it takes to settle into a new country financially. And I don't mean like money to move, I mean learning the credit system, figuring out how investments work here, knowing what is a great deal on rates, optimizing for affordability in a city that thrives on information that is not easily accessible. And also knowing the opportunity cost of many things.

I'm also realizing my ability to get things gone- expertly, and its strange how my employer realizes this.

Perhaps I should really start looking for another job.

All of this is to say that as I'm sat in this chair, writing and looking at my foil decorations, I feel so happy, so thankful, so grateful that what is infront of me is soooo much better than what is left behind.

Merry Christmas everyone. May we all experience joy & happiness unlimited this szn!

Detty December

*insert eyeroll here*

This is the first christmas I am spending away from Nigeria as an adult and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING... nothing can compare.

I'm prepping for exams- I admit very lackadaisically, but still prepping none the less and I am not feeling like christmas at all.

I have one Xmas party invite, I am not working that day - YAY, and I'm thinking of doing something christmassy but I have no idea what.

One of the strangest things about moving countries, is figuring out their financial system and FAST.

Unfortunately for me, It's giving complicated. Statement balances that do not automatically update when you pay your balance?

I had to walk into the branch to ask someone to walk me through it like i was 12. He didn't even understand it.

Then the mailing system, my province lost my ID and I had to call like 500 times to get a new one and eventually go and re-order it in store, only to get there and we had to take new photos, and I didn't wear a wig so I just lied to the guy that my turban is for religious purposes and now I'm stuck with an ID with alhaja esque photograph for the next 5 years.

Then the health card nko?

OMG the admin wahala is much more than I bargained for make I no lie. But we are pushing through, what I find so strange is HOW LITTLE information exists about all these things. Super annoying.

Anyway, that out of the way- I have like 3 things lined up for christmas, but I am seriously in the spirit because I've done my nails and put up the first decoration in the flat. will have to get some tinsel and put it around so it can feel slightly more christmassy. 

One of the biggest wins for US though for this move, is getting off repatriating naira for our spending in Canada. Its such a blessing to be able to not panic about exchange rates or GTB moving mad, or our savings depleting. Like such a great blessing.

I remain overwhlemed with gratitude when I think of this move and how relatively easy it has been for us, I know that it is only God that could have swung it like this true true, I speak to my mum and she can not believe it. I speak to my friends and they tell me how lucky I am.

Random testimony to wrap up how good this month has been- My friend who lives in the US occassionally has people coming to my city so I often buy things and send them to his address and then he gets them to me, anyway since he was in Lagos and I wanted a new tote from a Nigerian brand see it here  and wanted to buy some books from narrative landscape- they never delivered on time- , he brought back the tote yay, and messaged to ask if I wanted anything else from the US. I was like nah I don;t wanna spend my USD because rainy day/who knows etc etc; anyway I sha go to amazon as I've been eyeing this enzyme face wash, and a random afro puff that my friend bisi had, both came to $17:75, while I was deciding I received a message, an airbnb host was offering me $18.75 to leave them a review approx £15. I was like okay Mr God the provider, you don't always have to show up so perfectly like this- you are spoiling me.

While I was telling PJ, he said- things always work out for you and you are always getting money.

Its true. what I do not know is if its a self fulfilling prophecy or I'm just one of God's favorites.

Anyway I love it, God I thank you, Long may it continue.

Still no christmas dress in sight because I can't find anything I really like in the stores here. Like NOTHING at all its so strange, and I'm pretty easy to please when it comes to clothes.

But the stores aren't delivering at alll. Its strange can't lie.

However IAM looking forward to creating a christmas tradition here, with all the people I will meet.

Who knows perhaps new friendships will emerge from that?

More life updates and most recent rediscoveries- Thanksgiving

 First Update, I can not believe I moved to Canada. Because NGL, this country as a whole is dry. As someone who has lived in Lagos her whole adult life, I am struggling to sort of find my rhythm and blues here, but mostly a rhythm. 

In Lagos it was very Lifestyle-then work- then anything else but since I am yet to build a new community here, its giving " I'm indoor type", which I am not at alllll. But on the upside I really really really like it, if that makes any sense, kinda like love hate? I'm struggling to explain it but I think anyone who has moved countries in their 30's would understand. 

Second update- I'm going to need the personal blogs to come back, I get that all of you are now influencing on IG, with your chat GPT captions and hashtags without the pound sign trying to manipulate the algorithm but come back to writing about your lives. I miss that. Spent the last few weeks trawling through blogspot which brings me to update number 3

3 absolutely random but stumbled across BankyW's Blog and it has cracked me up SO SO SO much. he should go back to writing if this whole politics thing is a long thing. also absolutely re-discovered how much I still like Strong ting. That song was the background song to one of my most wholesome romance stories, ended one kind but was still such a great run while it lasted.

Fourth and final update, Since I moved here I have been introspecting without writing so all the thoughts are swirling around in my head, but one keeps floating to the top, and that is how much I have changed as a person. a few weeks before I left Lagos my friends and I were having dinner and a couple on the next table were struggling to get selfie photos of the sunset and themselves in it, so I asked them if they needed help with the pictures, and then when I came back, both of my friends were like " Omo you have changed o". And it is true, I have changed so much, my other friends have taken to calling me a positivity spin merchant because of how often I congratulate people. 

But minus the good vibes, I think the biggest change for me, is the level of restraint I have managed to grow, I literally went from team nobody should test me, to abeg abeg na I no gree dey tear shirt. Like very few things faze me anymore. Also- surprise- I have now learnt to mind my business, which is strange because the way Eke used to be my hobby, now I'm just like live and let live.

I think covid had such a huge impact on this shift because I can't point to anything else.

Okay I know I said 4 but here is the last one, I have a PACKED December socially, I have 3 exams, one film festival, one christmas carol, one christmas lunch AND I haven't actively bought tickets as per entertainment budget for the December.

One more last one, the people in this city are so dead fashion-wise, I wore a sparkly turban, everybody in my class is like- oMG so fashionable. I'm like guys... You people only know lululemon leggings of course a turban is fashionable to you.

I'm thinking of starting to work out, all the walking in doing in making me lose weight a bit too rapidly.

Watching my birthday flowers die and I'm realizing I really not a flowers girl. I have never been.

Is it just me or are all the new books- NOT GIVING? I'm yet to read a book that has me in a chokehold. publishers PLEASE NOW. shake body for me.

I need a facial, a mani pedi and a thorough wax session, and you know what would handle all these perfectly at once?  A TRIP TO LAGOS FOR CHRISTMAS.

In conclusion, I'm not as home sick as I thought I'd be, I'm more shell-shocked at how individualistic the country is. I had a better time friend wise in Dundee. Here it's just everybody and their dog, and I just want to be like, guys I have a dog too, there is no reason for your dog to be inside the grocery store man. 

That's just unsanitary. 

I don't think I'd ever get used to seeing a dog being pushed in a pram inside a store whenever I'm shopping.

But the one time I'm happiest to see dogs with people here, is whenever I come across a homeless person with a dog, I always try to give them something small, I dunno the sight of them with a dog, makes me feel like they are less alone in this super isolating city. and it gives me too large a measure of comfort. Suffice all this to say, I really miss my dog, and the likelihood of someone calling pet protective services for us , if we eventually bring him over is high because na dog we get, these ones -its pet they have.

One last thing on a whim, we went to see Burna Boy and BOYYYY DID HE GIVE US A SHOWWWWWWWW. Personally I didn't listen to the past two albums so I obviously spent the weekend crash learning the lyrics before we will send me out for not singing- BUT he produced such a wonderful show, as i said in my recap- burnaboy may be very many bad things as a person BUT he is  DAMN GOOD PERFORMER.

I hate to say it, I hope I don't sound ridiculous but I preferred Burna's show to Beyonce.

Okay enough rambling, just remember the 11th hour parable as the year comes to an end. there is still a lot of time for God to answer your prayers.

Happy thanksgiving everyone

Issa Birthday Girlieeeeeee

 NGL, I was just like I will have a quiet birthday this year just thankful I'm in my new country and I don't even know anyone to have a party or a pot to even cook jollof rice for party ( Long story but when we moved here, I hated the pots so much, and the ones we saw that I liked a bit more were like $750 full price and $550 on sale, so I just ordered the set I liked from Dubai, they came to roughly $60; then sent them to Lagos for like $40, and I'm now waiting for them to arrive) as I said Long story.

Anyway, It was such a lovely birthday, I did laundry, watched some TV, PJ got me flowers, cooked me sea food pasta, and we spent the rest of the day in a vineyard just outside the city.

Which I felt was auspicious BECAUSE, I've always wanted to own a vineyard and a wine brand. Anyway my class mates bought me a cakeeee. Ekk

Pj was like how many days have you even been in the country that you have found people to buy you cake?

Me: what can I say- everybody LOVES ME. No but for real, I am really enjoying being here. It is even more individualistic that I could imagine and it makes me feel so so much pity for elder family relatives that moved before social media.

Crazy.

Anyway I ended up having 2 people over because not only is our flat tiny- we have only one pan so we could only cook enough for 4 people. LOL

It was great because then we took out time to study lyrics for the burna boy concert. Which I'd attending today after a mid term that I have. Honestly what I find so amusing about this country is how funny they are, tell me why my midterm was supposed to be last week but then they pushed it because- it was halloween.. I was like???

What?

 anyway mid terms in a few then Burna right after. Hopefully he gives us a GREAT show if not. Ela ojukan. 

Also, It is SO  quiet here.

I am thinking of beginning to foster dogs even though I have not adopted one yet.

Also I miss my dog soooo much. Urgh

Thats my baby FR. I'm thinking of moving him to be with me, But his new mother has REFUSED to release him :(

I remember looking through what my 5 year plan was at 30 and what my life looks like now, and honestly could never have dreamed up this life for myself. And for that we say- Thank you Lord.

Happy Birthday to Me. Here is to hoping the next 365 days all have fantastic blessings in them!

Knowing the God I serve they probably do.

Life Update

 

via GIPHY

If you are wondering why I have Kamala saying we did it Joe up there, its because I relocated to Canada.

And when I tell you it was QUICK. God said, okay girlie time to get out of Lagos, and he made it happen so fast that I got whiplash with how quick the move was. For us.

That aside, If you follow me on this blog, by now you'd know that I did a masters 10 years ago ( OMG it is 10 years- eek), and so I'm not really a stranger to moving.. BUT this move has been so emotionally jarring for me.

So much to learn about a new country, and I had to leave my dog behind, well not leave him behind, rehome him and I just did not realize how much I will miss him. And my friend who has him- has FULLY colonized him. Its crazy Fr. But I am soo happy he is so happy and loved.

RE: settling in, no amount of reading can prepare you for settling in, and I think that is the wildest part about moving, like yes you need to do XYZ, but the order in which you do things here, is so important its crazy, but information will get you far.

My friends here have been SOOOOO helpful, the level of handholding has been out of this world- Lekan thank youuuuuuuu.  Lekan absolutely created the softest landing for me and kept telling me not to worry that I will spend my money, readers, he was right, Canada is EXPENSIVE.

And I say this as someone who had started grocery shopping in the UK and flying it down to Lagos- Don't judge me, my inlaw used to go back and forth every few weeks and she was happy to bring in my tesco food shop. So me who was earning Naira in Lagos, was spending GBP for groceries and I still cant believe my eyes with some of these prices.

Garbage bag for $15? Canada please now.

But asides all this, the move has been great. I feel like I should have come a long time ago, but I also feel like I should be thankful I'm here with my husband.

We honestly toyed with the idea of moving separately initially, but THANK GOD wisdom prevailed because I'd never have been able to hack this.  Shouts to everyone who moved countries alone. you people are the real MVP's. and I say this as someone who is super self sufficient and  emotionally resilient and hardly ever has to rely on anyone including my husband.

Omo, since we moved we are entering the phase of "lean on me no be press me die", I hope he likes it because I am enjoying finally having someone to rely on 100% very exciting.

He has supported me so so much and honestly I think our marriage is all the better for it because It has really given him the opportunity for him to be there for me in a way that would never have been possible in Nigeria. 

And the sex- Fiyahhhhhh. Being less busy would do that to you.

Over all I've been here a few weeks and I can say the move has been an overwhelming success. I admit that perhaps I moved a lil delusional thinking we'd find an apartment in 2 weeks, but we did it in a month and everyone is like - you guys are so lucky- and I'm like ehnnnnn. 

But while I hate the lack of a community here I love how honey-moon like it feels for my marriage coming up on two years in a few days. 

Time really flies, It feels like It was just yesterday we were running up and down for wedding and now two years, two dogs and a new country. All I can say is truly thank you God.

The one thing I didn't think I'd miss but I miss so damn much is planning my friends wedding, My friend is getting married and just not being able to be there with her is CRAZY. like whatsapp is great but it is just NOT THE SAME. :(

I miss my mum a lot too, we speak like twice a week and its just her sending me on international errands non-stop. LOL

My brother had another baby, missed his birth by a few days. I miss my children so so so much, Rich aunty for life yo, taking them out all the time and hanging with them was really the best thing.

I miss my nail tech and hair abroad is really expensive ( yes I've always known but what the hell are these rubbish braids for these prices?) I honestly should have taken a masterclass in crocheting my hair or at least pretending to learn to crochet my hair because- hmnnn.

One thing about living here is that my head is a lot clearer, it is so so clear, I used to feel like it was fogged up with random details but now its so so clear, I find it strange.

Like I haven't blogged since May and here I am churning out a post like its nothing.

Don't call it a come back.

I feel like my life is one giant testimony. I was telling someone that I am currently SOOOO happy, and I'm generally a happy person but here now in this moment, It really feels like God said, you have been strong for long enough, now you will be happy. 

May

 May really came clutch.

What can I say?

Alhamdullilah 

Time flies like a thief in the night

 Because how is my niece ALREADY FOUR YEARS OLD.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Absolutely crazy. 

The days are really long but the years are so short, it feel's like just yesterday that I was mad I had to cut short my Brazilian trip to head to the US to go and support both of them when she was born.

and now we are discussing bicycles. God abeg.

Anyway, she is an Easter baby this year so you know we must do party.

I can not believe she is 4! because I'm the family planner Im going to be up and down all weekend long. Not looking forward to it at all!

Election Szn and why I'm voting Peter Obi

 It doesn't feel very election-y for one there is limited campaign activity. usually the 2/3 months leading to elections in Nigeria sees the air charged with some fervor, either from the candidates themselves or their youth supporters. Hosting debates or penning feverish articles in support of their candidates.

Instead there is an unsettling but very fragile calm. Only one candidate seems to be campaigning aggressively and thinking about the demographic to which I belong- aka young people, and that is Mr Peter Gregory Obi.

In case you don't know anything about me, you should know that I am passionate about education, I think it is the best way to change the course of a family's life. So when I heard that PO who had worked magic in the Anambra educational system had thrown in his hat to be president, I said "TELL ME MORE"

But he also happens to be the healthiest and most coherent candidate contesting for president.

The Yoruba one is sick, and anyone that tells you otherwise, wants to rule from the shadows a la Yaradua.

The Northern one has 31. THIRTY ONE CHILDREN. I don't even think Nigeria has 31 parastatals for him to share amongst all his children like is customary among Nigerian's in leadership.

Finally, it is time to Zone the presidency to the south east. And I let me tell you how serious Zoning is to Nigerian politicians, it is so serious that they encoded it into PDP's constitution. Section 7(2)(c) of the party’s constitution says: “… In pursuance of the principle of equity, justice and fairness, the party shall adhere to the policy of rotation and zoning of party and public elective offices.” 

Its a shame the party members do not even honor what they have put in the constitution.

Finally, I'm genuinely tired of business as usual in Nigeria, Let me list all the current issues that we are currently experiencing:

Fuel scarcity

Police brutality

Kids out of school

Insecurity

Electricity

ASUU strikes

Violence against women and girls

Poverty

Unemployment

Mass migration

Division

Injustice

and to  think that a candidate is saying that, I want to build on existing infrastructure of the current government.

Finally, to all the people who say Anambra is no Lagos and that PO may be unable to replicate the success he achieved there in Nigeria, all I have to say to you is that neither is Lagos.

Happy New year

 AH 2022 is gone.

and it was one of those years that had SO much inside it. thinking about it now has me like ???

Anyway in 2022 was a really good year, if I'm being honest there were some things I slept on but I've woken up to them in 2023.

To plan 2023 I decided to do the thinker, prover method to set my year goals and I have arrived at 3 things and a 4th one in maybe maybe not.

I am very excited about 2023 sha I can't lie.

If I had to do a review of 2022, I think I travelled so much, Hercules actually said " you are strong sha".

I went to Togo & Cotonou in February, then Dubai in May, Then Abuja in October, and Then India & Thailand in November and Rwanda & Abraka in December. 

The less I speak of my visa woes- the better.

Being the planner is not easy but I need to get somethings done and can't be sitting around waiting for other people to do them.

One of my 2023 goals is to say No to everything that isn't what I want. which is odd because It appears what I have long thought of as responsible is actually people pleasing and I'm divesting.

Weddings- So many. I had a day trip to Ibadan for H's friends wedding in May, then we had our 60 people black tie wedding celebration in February, My friend Jade's wedding where I was chief whip, Kris wedding in Lagos. Tuvie's wedding in Rwanda. 

The older I get its become more important to not miss the important bits of your friends lives if you can. Its's something I'm making concerted effort to do. 

Dog Mum- We re-homed one of our dogs, and I am still slightly resentful about that, but I think that was a very big lesson for me, in life, capacity and just willingness to prune. Also sunk cost fallacy is a thing. Anyhoo I miss that lil crack head every single day. and I think my second dog is lonely.

Reading- I have never set a reading goal, but last year I set out to building a reading community. I'm happy to announce we had a physical meeting! and I'm hoping in 2023 to take it to the next level by hosting an actual show once a month about the books I love but we'll see. I really think more people should read

Career- Honest to God my Career stalled in 2022. But I have decided to boost visbility on Linkedin and also just relocate because I feel like workwise, I'm over it in Lagos. Not over the money sha, because I had two pay raises and I'm not even mad. Ha.

Working out- Meh. I'm hoping to commit to twice a week for the 52 weeks in 2023. Honestly I think the best time to work out remains the mornings FOR ME. unfortunately I''m struggling to optimise that with my current lifestyle and commute.

Ive been writing this for over a week now and let me tell you that I keep seeing messages to have difficult conversations with people who have offended me and I'm like- Hmnnnnn.

I'd rather not.  

In 2022 I had ONE difficult conversation and I felt like it was such a waste of time but did I feel better afterwards, also no. Turns out forgiveness is not my strong suit.at all. 

I'll do better in '23. 

Anyway Happy New Year. Here is to us achieving all our goals this year! 

One time for the Birthday Girl

*FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS FROM THE 3RD OF NOVEMBER* so im posting as is. 

I had the most delicious birthday yesterday and let me tell you, You all had better stop working on your birthdays!!!!!

My day started off with me on the phone talking to my friend who just had a baby and catching up with our other friend and it was just a great chat.

After which I went back to bed, then headed to the spa for a couple's massage, then headed to an all you can eat and drink lunch THEN went to the cinema to watch Black Adam- LOVED IT.

Then went to a new spot opening in Vi, Terrible location but lovely owner, hopefully he can swing the crowd to show up.

Then headed to dinner and had the most delectible seafood pasta, super loaded, but still can't touch the house.

THEN wanted to go see woman king but was so tired so I went home instead.

Absolutely loved the day I had because,