Election Szn and why I'm voting Peter Obi

 It doesn't feel very election-y for one there is limited campaign activity. usually the 2/3 months leading to elections in Nigeria sees the air charged with some fervor, either from the candidates themselves or their youth supporters. Hosting debates or penning feverish articles in support of their candidates.

Instead there is an unsettling but very fragile calm. Only one candidate seems to be campaigning aggressively and thinking about the demographic to which I belong- aka young people, and that is Mr Peter Gregory Obi.

In case you don't know anything about me, you should know that I am passionate about education, I think it is the best way to change the course of a family's life. So when I heard that PO who had worked magic in the Anambra educational system had thrown in his hat to be president, I said "TELL ME MORE"

But he also happens to be the healthiest and most coherent candidate contesting for president.

The Yoruba one is sick, and anyone that tells you otherwise, wants to rule from the shadows a la Yaradua.

The Northern one has 31. THIRTY ONE CHILDREN. I don't even think Nigeria has 31 parastatals for him to share amongst all his children like is customary among Nigerian's in leadership.

Finally, it is time to Zone the presidency to the south east. And I let me tell you how serious Zoning is to Nigerian politicians, it is so serious that they encoded it into PDP's constitution. Section 7(2)(c) of the party’s constitution says: “… In pursuance of the principle of equity, justice and fairness, the party shall adhere to the policy of rotation and zoning of party and public elective offices.” 

Its a shame the party members do not even honor what they have put in the constitution.

Finally, I'm genuinely tired of business as usual in Nigeria, Let me list all the current issues that we are currently experiencing:

Fuel scarcity

Police brutality

Kids out of school

Insecurity

Electricity

ASUU strikes

Violence against women and girls

Poverty

Unemployment

Mass migration

Division

Injustice

and to  think that a candidate is saying that, I want to build on existing infrastructure of the current government.

Finally, to all the people who say Anambra is no Lagos and that PO may be unable to replicate the success he achieved there in Nigeria, all I have to say to you is that neither is Lagos.

Happy New year

 AH 2022 is gone.

and it was one of those years that had SO much inside it. thinking about it now has me like ???

Anyway in 2022 was a really good year, if I'm being honest there were some things I slept on but I've woken up to them in 2023.

To plan 2023 I decided to do the thinker, prover method to set my year goals and I have arrived at 3 things and a 4th one in maybe maybe not.

I am very excited about 2023 sha I can't lie.

If I had to do a review of 2022, I think I travelled so much, Hercules actually said " you are strong sha".

I went to Togo & Cotonou in February, then Dubai in May, Then Abuja in October, and Then India & Thailand in November and Rwanda & Abraka in December. 

The less I speak of my visa woes- the better.

Being the planner is not easy but I need to get somethings done and can't be sitting around waiting for other people to do them.

One of my 2023 goals is to say No to everything that isn't what I want. which is odd because It appears what I have long thought of as responsible is actually people pleasing and I'm divesting.

Weddings- So many. I had a day trip to Ibadan for H's friends wedding in May, then we had our 60 people black tie wedding celebration in February, My friend Jade's wedding where I was chief whip, Kris wedding in Lagos. Tuvie's wedding in Rwanda. 

The older I get its become more important to not miss the important bits of your friends lives if you can. Its's something I'm making concerted effort to do. 

Dog Mum- We re-homed one of our dogs, and I am still slightly resentful about that, but I think that was a very big lesson for me, in life, capacity and just willingness to prune. Also sunk cost fallacy is a thing. Anyhoo I miss that lil crack head every single day. and I think my second dog is lonely.

Reading- I have never set a reading goal, but last year I set out to building a reading community. I'm happy to announce we had a physical meeting! and I'm hoping in 2023 to take it to the next level by hosting an actual show once a month about the books I love but we'll see. I really think more people should read

Career- Honest to God my Career stalled in 2022. But I have decided to boost visbility on Linkedin and also just relocate because I feel like workwise, I'm over it in Lagos. Not over the money sha, because I had two pay raises and I'm not even mad. Ha.

Working out- Meh. I'm hoping to commit to twice a week for the 52 weeks in 2023. Honestly I think the best time to work out remains the mornings FOR ME. unfortunately I''m struggling to optimise that with my current lifestyle and commute.

Ive been writing this for over a week now and let me tell you that I keep seeing messages to have difficult conversations with people who have offended me and I'm like- Hmnnnnn.

I'd rather not.  

In 2022 I had ONE difficult conversation and I felt like it was such a waste of time but did I feel better afterwards, also no. Turns out forgiveness is not my strong suit.at all. 

I'll do better in '23. 

Anyway Happy New Year. Here is to us achieving all our goals this year! 

One time for the Birthday Girl

*FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS FROM THE 3RD OF NOVEMBER* so im posting as is. 

I had the most delicious birthday yesterday and let me tell you, You all had better stop working on your birthdays!!!!!

My day started off with me on the phone talking to my friend who just had a baby and catching up with our other friend and it was just a great chat.

After which I went back to bed, then headed to the spa for a couple's massage, then headed to an all you can eat and drink lunch THEN went to the cinema to watch Black Adam- LOVED IT.

Then went to a new spot opening in Vi, Terrible location but lovely owner, hopefully he can swing the crowd to show up.

Then headed to dinner and had the most delectible seafood pasta, super loaded, but still can't touch the house.

THEN wanted to go see woman king but was so tired so I went home instead.

Absolutely loved the day I had because, 

Life lately & a Divinely Helped September

 Before I get into it, Pj ( aka my husband) wants to give away the dogs because they shed so much. 

Insert the meme of the woman crying in court about her husband. I'm in severe pains.

My heart can not take it, but I get it. :(

Anyway, I'm sure he is just saying that because I don't work from home and he is with them all day.

Be that as it may, I am happy flourishing and spending as much time as I can with them because if they leave then all I will be left with are memories.

the housecleaner came yesterday and she cleaned the house so well that even after I hosted people when I showered & settled into bed I sighed a huge sigh of happiness and gratitude. The house was clean, the dogs were, walked, fed & sleeping at the foot of the bed. my lava lamp was gently illuminating the room, the candle- that I repotted & burnt for 4 hours lent a scent to the space, as I laid my showered body onto the bed, I sighed and thought, can it get better than this?

and I said it can but this is pretty damn good. 

Off course I woke up late today but I went to bed very happy.

I love my life and I am now ready to relocate. Canada we are coming.

Also I partook in a 28day writing challenge and it was soo good I did not write the last day because I did not want it to end but I'm so proud of myself, and It just showed how important having some community accountability is in meeting set goals. 

I am definately taking that lesson into this next phase of my life.

I hope you all are having a good time!

and Happy new Month

Influence of Geography

 Stream of consciousness/ random rambling spurred by an insignificant happening that is now making me curious as to how much of your actions are influenced by what is acceptable in the area in which you find yourself living?

I have a non Nigerian friend who moved to Nigeria and I met randomly on a night out and we hit it off, anyway fast forward to drinks and her swearing vehemently about how she could never and scoffing at all the Lagos girls frockling with married men- because where she was from such things are frowned upon.

Fast-forward to 3 months later, she is telling about how she wants to go on vacation with a married man she has been seeing on , but her friends from her home country are telling her its wrong and Nigeria has changed her.

Her defence? They are not here, they do not see everyone doing it. When she asked me, I told her, in Nigeria, it is not a big deal, but you are not Nigerian so you might struggle so reconcile your actions with what you have been taught is the right way to be/ do things.

Anyway what is it about Nigeria that makes people lean into grey area's more than they would have if they lived anywhere else in the world? And it is not just the women with married men, its the Married men who come back here from the West and act so out of turn, I find it mildly amusing, but I am also slightly concerned because I know what erosion of a person's moral fibre can do to a person.

My friend thanked me for not judging her, and I was like- girl get in line. However, on the vacay she did not act like Nigerian girls and do one or two cryptic posts and call it a day, instead she has content for days and reels speaking about #softlife and blessings, and now I'm like girl rest.

Is there a way things are done in a place that make you adopt their practices whether or not they are at odds with your personal values? 

and why is Nigeria so prone to making people swing so far out and not recognize themselves? 

Also, is this something that people coming to Nigeria should be aware/wary of?

Currently

Reading

ALL THE GRAYMAN BOOKS. Honestly I have not been so sucked into a series like this since maybe The Coroman strike series. I absolutely LOVED That. But this, I adore it so much.

Last week someone asked me how I could manage to read so much, and I was like- what? I enjoy it so much I even run an online book club where I pick a book every month and we discuss it. Its such a great way to get people to read.

Listening

TO THIS SONG NON STOP. Its absolutely crazy how much I love it. 

Cobams is a musical genuis. I actually really like him. I remember an interview of his I listened to, where he said, sometimes sight can be distracting. That his wife may go into a store at the airport to get ONE thing and come out with stuff she didn't plan for and that really struck me as profound. If there is anyone in the music industry I'd love to see uber sucessful. It's him.

Send down fire, bless my ota

Give them long life to see me prosper

Make dem see say me I no dey suffer again

Watching

Actually just finished watching the Strike series, Its an adapation of the Coromon strike series written by JK rowling using a pseudonym. It was done by BBC one and I watched it using the Amazon Fire stick. It was so so good. British TV seems more intentional and less showy than American TV. cant explain it. Anyway if you ware looking for something great to watch, it is a mini series, so ranges from 3-4 episodes per season like sherlock and its great. Also use subtitles because the accent get as e be.

Thinking

About how all my life in Lagos, I've been experiencing fuel queues. Also about how because all of my friends have relocated I either have to make new friends ( Yuck), fly to see them often ( wahala) or move myself ( sigh). God has to punish Buhari for me, its awful, my friends kid turned 1 and I haven't even set eyes on her. How can this be life?

I think about it so much and I hate that I think about it so much.

Wondering

If my stoic approach to most of my relationships makes it difficult for people to accept that I am mostly unrufflable. I also wonder if being the go to person in my family taught me very early that people mostly do not change and relying on myself is a good way to go. ALSO wondering if this has dulled my need to tussle.

I wonder- actually I know that most of them HATE that I let things go very easily- offences AND relationships. So I wonder if its almost like they are always walking on thin ice with me. Like yes she will forgive me, but is this the one that will make her drop me?

Who knows these things

Manifesting

A new life in a new country with my family.

Reconciliation with my cousins, I can't think of a heart break worse than my cousins not speaking to me. And to think the crux of the issue was a fight our parents had. LOL ( but its not really funny)

Laughing

Mostly about the CBA attitude I am serving at work. Honestly lately I can not be arsed about anything work related.

I need time off

Planning

A bridal shower. And wondering what the fuck is this even about? how does this even make any sense.

But planning it anyway because- THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

My next Holiday- because what else to do except look forward to a big trip

Mulling

over the phrase "That is what friends are for" and wondering if it is giving doormat.

over if getting NDLEA clearance makes any sense. 

over why more Nigerians do not document visa struggles as much as the experience. 

Loving/Enjoying

My latest manicure. 

It is absolutely divine. 

My latest fashion nova haul that took 10 days to get to me from the US. OKAY Global village

Still Enjoying

Being a dog mom. And people say people can't change. Ha!

Weekend for the books

 The weekend that just passed was so lovely.

On friday I went by my friend's airbnb to pick up wedding access cards for his wedding the next day at oriental. 

On saturday morning, it was raining so I took the car to the mechanic to do some body work, the power came back just as I arrived home so I quickly vacuumed the flat instead of sweeping because I wanted to mop the house.

Because we have dogs, more frequent vacuuming and moping of the flat means that the floor stays sand free and it smells fresh. Although I think one of the dogs reacts to the bleach I use to do the final re-mop.

Anyway just as I had finished vacuuming Nepa took the light and I mopped and took a nap.

I called my tailor at least 50 times on saturday, she did not pick up. 

Power came back and we started watching strike in the living room. while the dogs napped.

I made Tomatoe based pasta with tuna and mushrooms and paired it with Red wine. Pj said " You have a way of turning everything into a special occasion" . I agreed. No point waiting for the best day to do things when you can just enjoy the things now, everyday you are alive is a special occassion.

The mechanic finally called us to get the car, so we went to get it, then came home & got ready for the wedding.

Went to the wedding then came home at past 12 and washed my face.

Sunday

We had susages and stir fried veggies with buttered cous cous. I hardly ever cook so when I do, PJ is slightly aroused & very amused at how good it tastes. You'd think being a Nigerian babe I'd cook more for my husband. BUT LOL, The less I see of a kitchen- any kitchen the happier I am.

Anyway, we ate, watched some strike, Nepa took light so we just fooled around playing with the dogs in the flat and then I got dressed for my friends Bridal Brunch.

One of my friends is getting married in September and has asked that I be on the train, as a matter of personal principle, I don't do bridesmaids. But I am more than happy to be your chief whip to get your girls ready for the day. I'm more than happy to miss the church service and I am more than ecstatic to show up late but to fully support you in all the ways that matter so your wedding can be an instagram show down, If that is your hearts desire.

Anyway bridal brunch was great from there we went to see sunday lunch at my in laws place where our dogs ran away on more than one occassion and we forgot our take away.

After catching the dogs, and since the link road to VI from the mainland is closed, we decided to pass Yaba and then stop at my Father in laws house.

Great time catching up with Alhaji as I call him. Loads of teasing and he has just started gardening so we talk shop about flowers and plants and the magic of growing things with our hands.

We return home and send an uber for the food we forgot at Sunday Lunch. Before the food comes we settle in season 2 of Strike and we fall asleep on the couch.

When I finally wake up to pee at 2 in the morning, the dogs are sleeping on me and PJ has moved to the bedroom.

I think a lot about all the things that are good in Nigeria and how much of them I'd be able to take away when I eventually leave the country. And I am slightly concerned that I won't be able to take a lot away.

The long weekend is coming up and I had planned to visit a city in the neighbouring state but since the shoot out at the church in a close by state, I'm rethinking my plans.

Nigeria is really a strange country. 

Everyday my mind is made up even further to leave.