Tuesday, July 23, 2024

I think and therefore.. I might be losing my mind.

 Walk with me. 

I moved to north america seeking greener pastures and while it has been green, significantly greener than the green on the nigerian flag, HELLO I bought a whole 4kg salmon for $4. so its green. It has also been bleak AF for people of color. aka me.

Because I grew up in Nigeria, I never understood that whole white people are crazy racist thing till I moved here and I'm  like- BLOOD OF GOD. these mutherfuckers are actually racist AF. 

But who no go, no go know. so moving past it has really just been a function of building community but the realization has really radicalized me.

Which is why when Kamala announced she was running, I was like, wailing throwing up and falling to my knees in the parking lot of my real canadian superstore.  I'm not going to lie before I moved her my aunt who worked in the US but lives in canada and shuttles daily, used to complain about immigration moving mad during trump Szn. 

A cousin of mine got kicked out of the US even though she was there legally, Honestly immigration as a Nigerian was TERRIBLE during trump and Biden brought back drop box. All I'm going to say is- I'm learning there is little to no greater good in North America.

While I'm not disilusioned about the move, I'm more like what the fuck kind of life is this?

Moving here has radicalized me in a way that would never have been possible from lagos, such that I want to slap all the trump lovers in Yaba lagos because what the fuckare you people talking about?

Why is DEI in your mouth?

Anyway rant over. I'm obviously not losing my mind, but its annoying.

The thing that mostly annoys me is that I have fucking chinese & filipino people that can't string 2 sentences together talking about only God knows what. Honestly, my english is going through it in this country.

But its not all bad, I discovered a fantastic asian afrobeat DJ WHOOOOOOO is so good but obviously lacks cultural context because he was still playing Naira Marley in the club.

This being said, I actually love living here. I thought my life was great in Lagos- IT WAS, but my God its about to get greater, I can just feel it in my bones. Does this make any sense? I'm not someone who I thought her life will change much if she moved, but i literally play tennis mid week with my husband for an hour every week. Its such a fantastic BIG life.

Honestly God bless the me of one year ago that decided to finally move to Canada. While school is tough. It can never last forever so I know that one day- this too shall pass.

I miss my family so much, My siblings, my mum, my nephews & niece ( who graduated to big school??????) can you believe it? I miss seeing lagos babes all dressed UP. urgh the fashion in this city- abysmal.

I do love a good food haul though. And access to asian skincare on tap? no more waiting 100 years for delivery from  Korea? This God is too good I will praise him name forever.

But For real because two things can be true, I miss home so much, but I am forever grateful for this move. :)


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