It has been a while since I settled down to write one of these painfully honest posts.
When I went to school, I was full of hope and excitement and etc etc
Then my relationship fell apart and I was plagued with the most intense self doubt in the world.
In the famous words of that athlete * I never h'experred it*
Literally and figuratively.
I found myself wandering.
But alas not all who wander are lost.
Wednesday is graduation and I made my Distinction.
Thank you. Thank you.
By no feat of mine, mind you, I feel like I should acknowledge everyone in a separate post but yah ( another time)
However, everyone who helped me on this journey, Lekan, Lisa, Fumbi, Lummy, Ayo, Mummy, Deyo, Stephanie, Debo, All the shops I visited when I had my bouts of depressions [especially ANN SUMMERS AND LASENZA]
Just everything generally about the last year makes me so thankful. Because look how amazing the year is turning out and its just June!
I am especially excited for my mother, with her latest bragging rights- who as you can imagine has invited a number of her friends to come celebrate with her ( not me since it takes a village and all that jazz) and has totally hijacked this whole thing from me- asking about colors to wear and what not.
I am slightly irritated because, All that money would have been used to do a bit of shopping for me.
Ps- did I tell you guys that VL cancelled my order- Just because, fucking wankers.
anyways there is something else.
My result did not bring me the validation I thought it would.
I know I know. I wanted a first class result for so long, that I finally got it and urgh. I am feeling like flat soda.
Just so Flat.
My friend Lolly S [ who introduced me to Debo] said I am too hard on myself and I should bask in it a little.
Ride on my successes and generally assured me that I am enough and I deserve all the good things that come my way.
I am going to bottle that conversation [ via blogging about it later] and then print it out pop it into my wallet and read it every time I experience self doubts.
Which for some reason, is a bit strange since it is something I haven't dealt with in such a long time.
I'm guessing heart break takes its toll on your esteem.,
Although all the men who have been flattering me are doing such an amazing job and eliminating that toll.
I leave for Londres tomorrow. and I embark on my first solo vacation to Greece.[ i know I'm lavish like that] - on which I hope to gain some clarity on what to do with my life, my person and my career.
While I am happy to be gainfully employed. I do not think what I currently do is what I want to do anymore.
I am beginning to hate the hotels [ inevitably] and I miss my mummy way too much for a twenty five year old.
everytime I'm away off course, once I'm back home- her wahala becomes waaay too much for me.
Currently off to get my weave installed. and get my nails done.
Sprinkles fairy dust and glitter!