I became passive agressive.
I hated it.
It was not working for me. I like conflict, I think it's always better to address issues than to allow them fester.
Also I find that, people will indulge passive agressiveness as long as there is no fight.
So I reverted and became agressive again.
Life is much easier now that I can say what I mean ( diplomatically) without burdening anyone with the gift of
mind reading.
I do this for other people really [ insert your heart felt thank you here] and not because I honestly believe
way is the best way most times.
Back to working weekends, and I'm just like ahhhh.
Some co-workers think I dress like I am not an auditor but a screen goddess.
I tell them from their lips to God's ears.
I have decided I want to be on the radio now. You know. even with my acute laryngitis.
I swear people do not even notice anymore what I sound like.
And this just means people really never notice.
When I was growing up- I hated my legs[ going through my instagram you would never have guessed]
Anyways I had this scar from surgery on my left patella [ which managed to get infected, thank you QCY] and I never wore short clothes, EVER.
Which is probably why I over dose now. LOL, Can stop, wont stop and all that jazz.
So Maybe podcasts? then actual radio? but only at night with alternative music because- Paid employment said no for day time frolicking.
Anyways I am thankful the weekend is Almost here, Thankful for good friends, and Thankful for the confidence to be agressive when the need arises.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Monday, June 23, 2014
Updates
Three things.
I had an amazing holiday. I was worried that being a solo traveller would have me reading my books on my iPad,tweeting, writing long posts in my journal and finding my center while holding a downward dog and watching the sun set above the ionian seas and blah blah blah.
Fortunately I was pleasantly dissapointed. Lets just say I was waaay to turnt to even consider any of the activities I planned. However, I got so sun burnt- i am now considering bleaching my face.
Children everything they said about sun screen is true.
Two.
My graduation went well. Much better than I expected. My mother although pleased is yet to present me with a graduation present.
I also realized how important the day was for her.
On this trip the value of friendship was further emphasized and I promise to make more effort, maintaining friendships, and you know being a friend to those who are friends to me.
Three
Holidays are expensive.
I just looked at my account balances. and I am thankful I exercised restraint and did not buy that DKNY bag that was almost 50% off at harrods in duty free. :(
I know I said three but
People live a little. Live is too short to spend it all in the rat race. I was privileged to observe how the citizens of the Island where I visited lived, and OMG, I was so surprised at how simple their lives were.
So damn simple- made me wonder, what really are we working for?
I will definitely go on more holidays. alone or with more people. It makes little or no difference to me.
I regret coming back to Nigeria so much last year, when I could have traveled the whole of Europe and seen the world. none the less, it is never to late, so cut back on the excesses and start living your life- How you truly want.
Last thing. coming back to work made me realize how much I might want to be a lady of leisure but how hard it might be for me to do that.
LOL. I like having a purpose. I might get some( okay maybe a lot) of validation from what I do, for a living.
And I am truly thankful for the opportunity to do what I do.
I wish everyone a fulfilling week ahead and I hope you all are happy.
I had an amazing holiday. I was worried that being a solo traveller would have me reading my books on my iPad,tweeting, writing long posts in my journal and finding my center while holding a downward dog and watching the sun set above the ionian seas and blah blah blah.
Fortunately I was pleasantly dissapointed. Lets just say I was waaay to turnt to even consider any of the activities I planned. However, I got so sun burnt- i am now considering bleaching my face.
Children everything they said about sun screen is true.
Two.
My graduation went well. Much better than I expected. My mother although pleased is yet to present me with a graduation present.
I also realized how important the day was for her.
On this trip the value of friendship was further emphasized and I promise to make more effort, maintaining friendships, and you know being a friend to those who are friends to me.
Three
Holidays are expensive.
I just looked at my account balances. and I am thankful I exercised restraint and did not buy that DKNY bag that was almost 50% off at harrods in duty free. :(
I know I said three but
People live a little. Live is too short to spend it all in the rat race. I was privileged to observe how the citizens of the Island where I visited lived, and OMG, I was so surprised at how simple their lives were.
So damn simple- made me wonder, what really are we working for?
I will definitely go on more holidays. alone or with more people. It makes little or no difference to me.
I regret coming back to Nigeria so much last year, when I could have traveled the whole of Europe and seen the world. none the less, it is never to late, so cut back on the excesses and start living your life- How you truly want.
Last thing. coming back to work made me realize how much I might want to be a lady of leisure but how hard it might be for me to do that.
LOL. I like having a purpose. I might get some( okay maybe a lot) of validation from what I do, for a living.
And I am truly thankful for the opportunity to do what I do.
I wish everyone a fulfilling week ahead and I hope you all are happy.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Content
Me right now.
Hey ho playing in the back ground.
And this moment here. With all it's stars and scars is the perfect one.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Random Musings
It has been a while since I settled down to write one of these painfully honest posts.
When I went to school, I was full of hope and excitement and etc etc
Then my relationship fell apart and I was plagued with the most intense self doubt in the world.
In the famous words of that athlete * I never h'experred it*
Literally and figuratively.
I found myself wandering.
But alas not all who wander are lost.
Wednesday is graduation and I made my Distinction.
Thank you. Thank you.
By no feat of mine, mind you, I feel like I should acknowledge everyone in a separate post but yah ( another time)
However, everyone who helped me on this journey, Lekan, Lisa, Fumbi, Lummy, Ayo, Mummy, Deyo, Stephanie, Debo, All the shops I visited when I had my bouts of depressions [especially ANN SUMMERS AND LASENZA]
Just everything generally about the last year makes me so thankful. Because look how amazing the year is turning out and its just June!
I am especially excited for my mother, with her latest bragging rights- who as you can imagine has invited a number of her friends to come celebrate with her ( not me since it takes a village and all that jazz) and has totally hijacked this whole thing from me- asking about colors to wear and what not.
I am slightly irritated because, All that money would have been used to do a bit of shopping for me.
Ps- did I tell you guys that VL cancelled my order- Just because, fucking wankers.
anyways there is something else.
My result did not bring me the validation I thought it would.
I know I know. I wanted a first class result for so long, that I finally got it and urgh. I am feeling like flat soda.
Just so Flat.
My friend Lolly S [ who introduced me to Debo] said I am too hard on myself and I should bask in it a little.
Ride on my successes and generally assured me that I am enough and I deserve all the good things that come my way.
I am going to bottle that conversation [ via blogging about it later] and then print it out pop it into my wallet and read it every time I experience self doubts.
Which for some reason, is a bit strange since it is something I haven't dealt with in such a long time.
I'm guessing heart break takes its toll on your esteem.,
Although all the men who have been flattering me are doing such an amazing job and eliminating that toll.
I leave for Londres tomorrow. and I embark on my first solo vacation to Greece.[ i know I'm lavish like that] - on which I hope to gain some clarity on what to do with my life, my person and my career.
While I am happy to be gainfully employed. I do not think what I currently do is what I want to do anymore.
I am beginning to hate the hotels [ inevitably] and I miss my mummy way too much for a twenty five year old.
everytime I'm away off course, once I'm back home- her wahala becomes waaay too much for me.
Currently off to get my weave installed. and get my nails done.
Sprinkles fairy dust and glitter!
When I went to school, I was full of hope and excitement and etc etc
Then my relationship fell apart and I was plagued with the most intense self doubt in the world.
In the famous words of that athlete * I never h'experred it*
Literally and figuratively.
I found myself wandering.
But alas not all who wander are lost.
Wednesday is graduation and I made my Distinction.
Thank you. Thank you.
By no feat of mine, mind you, I feel like I should acknowledge everyone in a separate post but yah ( another time)
However, everyone who helped me on this journey, Lekan, Lisa, Fumbi, Lummy, Ayo, Mummy, Deyo, Stephanie, Debo, All the shops I visited when I had my bouts of depressions [especially ANN SUMMERS AND LASENZA]
Just everything generally about the last year makes me so thankful. Because look how amazing the year is turning out and its just June!
I am especially excited for my mother, with her latest bragging rights- who as you can imagine has invited a number of her friends to come celebrate with her ( not me since it takes a village and all that jazz) and has totally hijacked this whole thing from me- asking about colors to wear and what not.
I am slightly irritated because, All that money would have been used to do a bit of shopping for me.
Ps- did I tell you guys that VL cancelled my order- Just because, fucking wankers.
anyways there is something else.
My result did not bring me the validation I thought it would.
I know I know. I wanted a first class result for so long, that I finally got it and urgh. I am feeling like flat soda.
Just so Flat.
My friend Lolly S [ who introduced me to Debo] said I am too hard on myself and I should bask in it a little.
Ride on my successes and generally assured me that I am enough and I deserve all the good things that come my way.
I am going to bottle that conversation [ via blogging about it later] and then print it out pop it into my wallet and read it every time I experience self doubts.
Which for some reason, is a bit strange since it is something I haven't dealt with in such a long time.
I'm guessing heart break takes its toll on your esteem.,
Although all the men who have been flattering me are doing such an amazing job and eliminating that toll.
I leave for Londres tomorrow. and I embark on my first solo vacation to Greece.[ i know I'm lavish like that] - on which I hope to gain some clarity on what to do with my life, my person and my career.
While I am happy to be gainfully employed. I do not think what I currently do is what I want to do anymore.
I am beginning to hate the hotels [ inevitably] and I miss my mummy way too much for a twenty five year old.
everytime I'm away off course, once I'm back home- her wahala becomes waaay too much for me.
Currently off to get my weave installed. and get my nails done.
Sprinkles fairy dust and glitter!
Friday, June 6, 2014
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And yet another testimony
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