Now Rape is wrong.
On all fronts. Rape is such a despicable act. That it can and should not be taken lightly.
Most importantly- Rape is no joke.
But you know what else is not a joke.
Raising hungry daughters.
And it really is not funny.
The basket mouth rape joke, however is funny.
But what is funnier that the joke is the reaction of every one.
I think a lot of people are missing the point.
The first point I inferred from that joke, is how you have no interest in a man- but you see him 9 times.
Of those 9 times- You who has no interest in pursuing a relationship with him, is willing to go shopping, and dining with the man 7 times.
Is that not in itself the main problem?
And that is what we need to address.
Dear girls of Lagos ( I use Lagos because I live here and I hear so many stories) you need to do better.
Collectively in 2014.
Taking money from a man while implying you will give him sexual favours is wrong.-
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE NO PLANS TO DO SO.
ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS MARRIED TO ANOTHER WOMAN THAT IS NOT YOU.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR a) mother is not sick/ you dont have to pay school fees etc etc etc.
Stop it. It is prostitution.
And you know what happens to prostitutes ( sometimes they get raped, sometimes killed for rituals)*
If you have no intention on having any relationship with a man ( sexual or other wise) remove yourself from any situation that can bring about the eventuality of Sexual relations.
I wish mothers/fathers guardians would question their daughters about their source of Income. Often.
I wish parents/ guardians would teach your daughters about what money can and can not do.
The value system in Lagos ( again Lagos because I live here) is shit ( putting it lightly).
And while we can sit around and abuse/name and shame boys/men that carry out this disgusting act of rape ( which I absolutely support by the way), we need to educate the girls in our environments.
It is not enough to tell the men to stop raping girls. WE need to tell the girls to stop indulging these men.
( Im not speaking about grab and rape scenarios on the streets/ dark alleys at night) I'm talking about women who have no plans to have sex with a man but somehow will go on 7 dates with said man- who has expressly declared his sexual intentions towards you, and has had two foiled attempts, but still somehow end up in a bedroom with said man.
But you do not want to have sex.
Stop it. This behavior is more disgusting than the behavior of the man that rapes a woman.
And Stop being a fucking begger. It brings nothing but shame to you and your family.
Why is a man that is not your father, or your guardian taking you shopping anyways?
Are you naked on the streets of Lagos?
Why are you taking a phone from a " toaster"?
While I do not indulge in such- I am aware of the implication of taking things from men. They are buying your body and vagina.
And it is sad that you advertise goods, collect payment then refuse to supply said goods.
Women who participate in such are as disgusting as the men who rape them.
There is more to the basket mouth joke than rape.
It speaks so loudly of how materialistic and how morally bankrupt the society has become.
And maybe those people who are wailing and wishing hail and brimstone on basket mouth need to really really face up to the real issues.
Which really is- why is your daughter a prostitute?
Rape is a big issue. It is unfair, and no one deserves it. That being said. If you can( and most times you can) avoid putting yourself in a situation that a likely outcome might be rape.
Its why we lock our doors at night- even though we are charitable and generous people with our items. we protect ourselves from thieves.
No one deserves to be robbed. But we put up preventive measures- like security men and padlocks on our gates.
Do the same with your sexual favors.
* I learnt this from Domitila the movie.