Ive always bee n told how lucky i am that i have my whole life planned out for me. how grateful i should be that i have every thing i i have. how appreciative i should be off the men in my life.
But at the same time i think to myself when ever im faced with such a lecture ' is it bad o want more?' and when i voiced out that thought to a couple of close friends, lets just say i felt very ungrateful.
i skipped a week of lounging last week to study, needless to say, i did not study. well not as much as i expected. and in my mind, i let my mummy down. Yes im a mummy's girl and im proud.
but getting back. Every1 dreams of a splendid 21st. me inclusive. although the plans i made, got cancelled.(not my fault) i still always just hoped something would come up. Well something did, and it wasnt what i expected. and i do not wish this on anybody. ICAN. yes ICAN showed up and ruined the supposedly best summer of my life. Somehow it also managed to get involved with the Government and coincide with NYSC, leaving my birthday basically as a day of well.. nothing. and so as i blog tonight(simply because if i do this in my journal i will cry) i know Novemebr 2nd is going to be a blur.The most upsetting part is that i already know and can do nothing about it.
On the upside im shaping my future and whatnot. Truth be told, i really do not know what i want to do. but what ever it is, im hoping my sacrifice of my 21st would aid it in ways i would look back and thank God i made that sacrifice.
Till then i slave over my books.
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