Influence of Geography

 Stream of consciousness/ random rambling spurred by an insignificant happening that is now making me curious as to how much of your actions are influenced by what is acceptable in the area in which you find yourself living?

I have a non Nigerian friend who moved to Nigeria and I met randomly on a night out and we hit it off, anyway fast forward to drinks and her swearing vehemently about how she could never and scoffing at all the Lagos girls frockling with married men- because where she was from such things are frowned upon.

Fast-forward to 3 months later, she is telling about how she wants to go on vacation with a married man she has been seeing on , but her friends from her home country are telling her its wrong and Nigeria has changed her.

Her defence? They are not here, they do not see everyone doing it. When she asked me, I told her, in Nigeria, it is not a big deal, but you are not Nigerian so you might struggle so reconcile your actions with what you have been taught is the right way to be/ do things.

Anyway what is it about Nigeria that makes people lean into grey area's more than they would have if they lived anywhere else in the world? And it is not just the women with married men, its the Married men who come back here from the West and act so out of turn, I find it mildly amusing, but I am also slightly concerned because I know what erosion of a person's moral fibre can do to a person.

My friend thanked me for not judging her, and I was like- girl get in line. However, on the vacay she did not act like Nigerian girls and do one or two cryptic posts and call it a day, instead she has content for days and reels speaking about #softlife and blessings, and now I'm like girl rest.

Is there a way things are done in a place that make you adopt their practices whether or not they are at odds with your personal values? 

and why is Nigeria so prone to making people swing so far out and not recognize themselves? 

Also, is this something that people coming to Nigeria should be aware/wary of?

Currently

Reading

ALL THE GRAYMAN BOOKS. Honestly I have not been so sucked into a series like this since maybe The Coroman strike series. I absolutely LOVED That. But this, I adore it so much.

Last week someone asked me how I could manage to read so much, and I was like- what? I enjoy it so much I even run an online book club where I pick a book every month and we discuss it. Its such a great way to get people to read.

Listening

TO THIS SONG NON STOP. Its absolutely crazy how much I love it. 

Cobams is a musical genuis. I actually really like him. I remember an interview of his I listened to, where he said, sometimes sight can be distracting. That his wife may go into a store at the airport to get ONE thing and come out with stuff she didn't plan for and that really struck me as profound. If there is anyone in the music industry I'd love to see uber sucessful. It's him.

Send down fire, bless my ota

Give them long life to see me prosper

Make dem see say me I no dey suffer again

Watching

Actually just finished watching the Strike series, Its an adapation of the Coromon strike series written by JK rowling using a pseudonym. It was done by BBC one and I watched it using the Amazon Fire stick. It was so so good. British TV seems more intentional and less showy than American TV. cant explain it. Anyway if you ware looking for something great to watch, it is a mini series, so ranges from 3-4 episodes per season like sherlock and its great. Also use subtitles because the accent get as e be.

Thinking

About how all my life in Lagos, I've been experiencing fuel queues. Also about how because all of my friends have relocated I either have to make new friends ( Yuck), fly to see them often ( wahala) or move myself ( sigh). God has to punish Buhari for me, its awful, my friends kid turned 1 and I haven't even set eyes on her. How can this be life?

I think about it so much and I hate that I think about it so much.

Wondering

If my stoic approach to most of my relationships makes it difficult for people to accept that I am mostly unrufflable. I also wonder if being the go to person in my family taught me very early that people mostly do not change and relying on myself is a good way to go. ALSO wondering if this has dulled my need to tussle.

I wonder- actually I know that most of them HATE that I let things go very easily- offences AND relationships. So I wonder if its almost like they are always walking on thin ice with me. Like yes she will forgive me, but is this the one that will make her drop me?

Who knows these things

Manifesting

A new life in a new country with my family.

Reconciliation with my cousins, I can't think of a heart break worse than my cousins not speaking to me. And to think the crux of the issue was a fight our parents had. LOL ( but its not really funny)

Laughing

Mostly about the CBA attitude I am serving at work. Honestly lately I can not be arsed about anything work related.

I need time off

Planning

A bridal shower. And wondering what the fuck is this even about? how does this even make any sense.

But planning it anyway because- THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.

My next Holiday- because what else to do except look forward to a big trip

Mulling

over the phrase "That is what friends are for" and wondering if it is giving doormat.

over if getting NDLEA clearance makes any sense. 

over why more Nigerians do not document visa struggles as much as the experience. 

Loving/Enjoying

My latest manicure. 

It is absolutely divine. 

My latest fashion nova haul that took 10 days to get to me from the US. OKAY Global village

Still Enjoying

Being a dog mom. And people say people can't change. Ha!