Lockdown

A couple of things I have realized about myself during lockdown:

-I really like my mother. not as a parent but as a friend.This is the most time we have spent together since I became an actual adult and honestly I love it. She can be annoying but still

- I don't like my sister.  I mean I'd give her a kidney but she annoys me. And I've been trying to work out why and it's simple. I just don't like her person. If she wasn't my sister, I'd never speak to her.

- I prefer structure in my life, it makes me more efficient.

- I hate DIY. DIY hair, nails, anything and everything DIY. I did an oil cleanse and clogged my pores. my skin hasnt recovered. On the other hand I BEGGED my hair dresser to open her saloon on the low and attend to only me so I could take out my braids and wash my hair. So she snuck me in and I felt like a xter out of money heist. But there was no way I was taking out my braids. I don't even have that much upper body strength.

- Money likes me. I don't know how to explain this except I have been unemployed for approx 6 months and my lifestyle hasnt changed and I haven't had to dip into my savings and It's so fascinating really how much planning and budgeting does for your physce.

-I don't need half of the stuff I have, and once this corona lifts I'm giving away the half I don't need.

- I am shallow. I was watching a company I was considering working for and they had a promo video. so I decided to watch it, since someone I knew was in the video. the opening montage had someone typing on a keyboard and her nails were terrible. chipped nail poilish, uneven length. And I was like does this mean they don't pay well enough or nobody in the office cares?

- When I want things, I realllly want them. I saw the JD of my dream role and while I know it might be a LONG shot, I threw my hat in the ring anyway. Also super pleased with myself for getting my refund from BA in under 24 hours. I guess stake holder management experience has it's perks.


- I want to teach eventually. This lock down has shown me that I don't want to live a rat race life. I need to work to finance the life I want for myself but I don't have another twenty years of my life to give to this grind. I want to teach women about the positive correlation between economic indepence and quality of life available to them.

-  The most fun I've had with a man is with hercules. We spent roughly 20 days together ( not at a stretch because come on) and we had so much fun together. Our days consisted of me sleeping at 5/6am because of a broken body clock from trinidad, and him sleeping at roughly 1am because 30 plus. On the mornings where he wakes up before I go to bed, we have breakfast, sometimes have sex, he lets in his house keeper. we play 10 rounds of table tennis. we work out sometimes. I sleep. He works. when I wake up at 6 ish. he makes dinner, I pick a movie or show for us to watch. We have drinks, snacks, some more sex. sometimes we play cards. I try to half heartedly apply for jobs. he gives me bootyrubs and we daydream about getting a place together.we also send each other funny jokes on Ig. and we google recepies for what to eat It's basically a mini honeymoon except we are on lock down in his flat and we only went out a couple of times for groceries.
 and we are obviously not married.
( if anyone is interested he has asked, more than once, I reply hmmmm all the time)

- When I get married, its definately to a man who cooks, cleans and lets me be a starfish during sex because I've had so much to eat and drink. Also this is so far removed from what I'd have envsioned as someone who does everything in her own life.

- I have the constant concern ( and it is really an insecurity) that whenever I want to give out things to people, they are too small and I end up never giving them. But this lockdown I decided to give people what I have like that jare, its a pandemic. Asides reaching out to all my domestics to send them something small to hold body. I bought a soap and glory body wash set for the lady at the BA desk in lagos who got my ass on that flight ensuring I didn't miss trinidad. And then I got back and was stalling to give her because I felt I should have gotten her something more ghen ghen. It crossed my mind to give her a bottle of zara perfume I got for myself but I got one for my sister and my aunt so it was like a set. I literally had to talk myself into giving her the gift like that.

- There is no new normal. I hate the covid webinars. As an aside, anybody else's mother pronouce it the same way Ribena is pronouced? LOL

-There are a lot of things I say I want to do, but I really don't because if I did, I'd have started doing them already.

- I'm more concered about the person I'm going to be reporting to, at whatever new job I get, than what the role title is called. I really want an intelligent and challenging boss.

- I think I have a crush on HBO. if you know who that is, then you know. I l0ve intelligent men who have industry experience.

- I like kind men

- I find it harder to like people than love them.

- I continue to have the fantasy of older me in the south of france, with all my friends and their kids and a large table on a patio that connects to the kitchen and me screaming to every one to settle down, and when they finally settle down,  my voice cracks as I say " For the food we are about to receive, we thank you oh lord" and all the girls burst into laughter because its a QC food prayer and I reprimand one of their husbands saying " I did not hear your Amen" and someones asks me about the wine and everyone rolls their eyes while I say, oh this? it's from this years harvest from the vineyard.

- I might be suited to a much slower and languid pace of life than the frenzy of the old normal might have led me to believe

- I still love wine. I think this as I struggle to get through the remaining half bottle of the uber expensive whiskey someone gifted me for my last birthday.

- I caved and made my first wig, It's a super sleek power bob and it was heavily discounted when I bought it so I figure, why not? I got the weave on sale from lolavita hair, cost N24k or so.  A STEAL. I confess I forgot about it. but I've now remembered and wig life loading.

- I showed someone my linkedIN photo he said it looked like a Tinder shot. Honestly this packaging life will kill all of us, but I'm taking a newer photo sha. Let it not be because of slay Queen employer will say no.

- I might do my nails, by myself. Urgh God punish Covid 19.

Ps: travel blog updated