Risky Risky

At the risk of sounding like an unbalanced deranged crazy woman,

 I am enjoying the corona lock down.

I know. And I feel horrible about it.

One of my closest friends is panicked because she has had to shut down two of her businesses,
the other one is stressed over some immigration hang ups now extra delayed by this lock down.
And a spread of other people who are generally anxious.

Me, I'm just happy for the very first time in a very long time to be doing nothing and having no expectations looming over me.

When my company shut down, I told myself 3 months and I'd go back to work. My mother wanted me back at work so I told her I'd get to it once I got back from my vacation.

And it was the best vacation of my life because I didn't have to worry about anyone calling me and asking me about work related anything. I also didn't have a budget because I felt working for a decade I had earned a treat. Hence a reckless holiday AND a purse ( that is stuck in the US because COVID).

Anyway. I came back and attempted to unpack and etc all the while networking and setting up interviews for jobs and attending interviews and speaking to recruiters but still not fully rested but also resigning my fate to the 3 month break ONLY FOR COVID lock down to swing by.

I am ashamed at how happy this time off is making me.

TBH, I should be anxious, as I have never ever ever since the day I got into university had this much free time in my life, little to no responsibilities and minimal concern about income. ( I think my investments are sorta nifty).

I feel so blessed. I have two meals everyday with my mother and we don't argue.
I sleep at 4am or 2 am or 5 am and wake up at noon or 1 or 2. then practice the piano and then read till 6pm.

Have dinner with my mother. Have a drink with my brother. My sister comes over sometimes we gist.

I'm washing my hands but honestly showering maybe once in two days.
I've had the same braids in for over a month because there was no way I was going to the saloon to take the out when this whole thing started. And I am honest to God uninterested about taking out my braids myself

Maybe I should do some more writing with this time?

Nah.

Maybe I should just enjoy this season of rest.

To everyone who is panicked now please here is one of my favorite bible passages for when things are going askew " Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the lord delivers him from ALL".

This too shall pass.

Today at dinner but really snacking at midnight, my mother asked me to come to newyork with her in september.

Honestly I think this virus will go as it came.

My friend is panicked about being locked in for a long time and I told him, even 100 years is forever, this too shall pass.

I hope you all take this period to relax, the Good lord knows we all need it.