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Friday, September 23, 2016

Update

I'm Not Pregnant



via GIPHY


Now to struggle with the Cost of tampax pearls in Nigeria.

Why oh lord are tampons that are such a necessity so damn expensive?!

Thursday, September 15, 2016

So Exactly what did you get up to in Lebanon?

Itunu asked as we were sorting through the items for delivery from her Sallah sale.

Me: well typically my day went like this, wake up,  eat breakfast, come back to the hotel room, have sex, shower, wait for my host to come and get me, go swimming in the ocean, eat lunch, come back to hotel more sex, shower get dressed to go out in the night. Go clubbing till about 4am.

Wash Rinse Repeat- basically.

She: so basically you are like pregnant now?

Me: OMG, I hope not, asides the fact that we can't afford it. My boobs have been acting funny.


I honestly think Leban was one of my most RESTFUL vacations. No work looming over me,

No random need to buy anything.

It was literally perfect.

Would I love to go again? YES please.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Lebanon

Aka Leb.

I do not know if I ever mentioned it but Eros does not do conventional work like me.

This does not translate to house husbandry unfortunately as he still isn't as proficient at house work as he should be.

Anyway. One of the things he does- Liquor business he runs with some lebanese people.

Well two lebanese people. However the lebs are so so family oriented that somehow we have become honorary Lebs.

So one of his  business partners is getting married today and we are here in lebanon for the wedding


You guys; Most of my holidays are full enjoyment but I have to confess- This one is next level.

Chai.

The level of do nothing ness is appalling. But in the best way possible.

Enough about happiness and satisfaction. Let me tell you about Leb.

So when I heard that the groom was getting married to a woman who had never been to Nigeria and was lebanese- I felt so sad. like deep down sadness for the bride. Nigeria is bad enough for Nigerians that are women. Talk less of Lebanese women moving to Nigeria to get married. I was up in arms, how would be cope?


Turns out there would be little or ZERO adjustment.

Lebanon is pretty much lagos with Lebanese people.
from the airport trying to cross the road with luggage- The cars wont even stop lagos style.

It was amusing.

The driver was a manic. Eros refused to come and get me from the airport ( Totally Lagos behavior).

And the only difference is that the city is really really war torn.

even though it is being rebuilt? The scars of war are everywhere. It

Monday, August 29, 2016

In control

So I think I give off the vibe that I have all my life under control.

Today I couldn't rationalise buying a pack and pearl tampons for N4,000 but went to the liquor store and bought the most delicious bottle of moscato for myself to drink at about the same price.

Even though I am trying to slow down my drinking.

Anyways, I think I struggle to sell myself.

Like look, I am amazing at what I do. please Hire me now.

Why do I need to convince you that I actually can do what I know I can do.

There should be sell your self classes in University -because hello real life skill.

I think I am ready to become deliberate with my new friendships.

So if you have a private jet - Hi I am open to being friends with you. and I promise to clean up after myself and to not be tardy( Last bit is a lie- BUTTT I am working on it)

I am dying to tell you guys about all the things going on in my life.
But I need you guys to remember that God makes everything beautiful in his own time.

Including my holiday ready manicure.

:)

I would put up a photo but. nah

Ps- Why do people who know me in real life laugh at me when I say I am anonymous on twitter.

I am though.


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

On responses that no one asked you for.

because really at the end of the day it is just hair.

So obviously I am at work and instead of working, I'm combing through my usual blogs (ps- I am still crying about the reduction in the frequency of personal blogposts)

Anyways I come across this interesting post about hair.

Which is really good that people are beginning to take note about.

Currently my hair is in 6 plaits all back across my head and its really rough because this is the second week running.

My bosses do not even care anymore and HR has started to emulate me my plaiting their own hair.

When I comes to hair, I'm pretty much the path of least resistance.

I mean, I have an event I NEED to slay at, my hair has to be LAID.  and it could be braids, or crochet or a weave, as long as it shows my good side and is flipping low maintenance.

For someone with relaxed hair, I take super super super good care of my hair according to my natural friend Eneni, Ore you are really extra with this hair shit.

Meaning I do a pre-poo treatment before I shampoo, I do minimal heat and I do not comb wet hair.

Anything else is Jara.

But what I have learnt working in corporate Nigeria and carrying didi to work (no wig) is that no one cares if you do not care.

I work in a building with about 20 other companies and we all use the same 4 elevators, I'm constantly on my phone while riding, so I am yet to have anyone stop me and ask why my hair isn't done.

And if I ever get asked, I would respond- IT IS DONE. Just not how you like

which is really fine because it is not your hair and it is not on your head, so really.

Now for all my bragging I will be the first to admit that a huge chunk of this confidence stems from the fact that Eros hates the wig life. Which translates to the fact that I am confident enough to carry my didi because in the Nigerian wife lingo for "how is it your problem"= My husband is not complaining.

And because of how many extra minutes of sleep it gives me in the mornings- Neither am I.

Pss- Yesterday my client asked me if I was transitioning. I laughed and told her nah, I'm going on holiday in a week- I need my hair to be FRESSHHHH. meaning one week in literally.

Pss- Still undecided about what I should do to said hair. torn between crochet braids- because lying down around the pool for IG photos  swimming or a weave because my dress for the event is this thigh high slitted monostrap pink dress and I have been dreaming about that shayla hair flip for waaaaaay to long.

Either way- These IG followers gon get it!



Monday, August 15, 2016

On the future.

So while I have been praying for a bunch of stuff.
And they have been coming to fruition. ( I know color me excited!), I did not realise that I had been so fixated on the past.

On the things I didn't want, on the things I wanted to leave behind and on the things I needed to stop.

Focusing on these just further strengthened the already existing neural pathways they commanded in my head.

There were a lot of things I wanted to get into but I had been paralyzed by some sort of fear mostly that I lack lasting power to finish strong. ( This has been slowly dispelled from my mind- will go into it in a minute).

And so I never did anything asides what I had to do.

But I'm learning that these strong holds are false, and the learning is accidental.

For one, I do have lasting power to finish strong(This sounds sexual but it really isnt), I just need to have enough riding on the need to finish.
-Case in point, My sister's wedding planning.

Even me I am surprising myself daily.

Everyday I say I do not like people, but everyday I am finding that people like me a lot so.

2.I am pulling through daily. making lists and crossing them out. ( I guess that's really all one needs to hit completion).

But I thought I couldnt finish because at work, I would start strong and half way I would just be like- fuck this shit, and by the time I need to wrap up the engagement I'm just here like- I DO NOT NEED THIS SHIT.

But it turns out my person needs things wrapped up and tidy and all that jazz.

But I discovered this, not in trying to focus my energies on work but just steady building at completing my sisters wedding.

So now I know I can finish strong, I am here to talk about all the things I am looking forward to finally doing.

-1 using the candle I bought from miami 3 years ago in the guest bathroom at my new house (Yes I'm moving house)

-2 accumulating flier miles from my new job such that I can go to three new countries every year for a pittance! (yay)

-3 Finally seeing dubai

-4 Getting into the fights I have been avoiding because I know that there is help

-5 Fighting for what I want, getting it, and KEEPING it tightly. ( this is personal but I will talk about this later)

-6 Enjoying my new relationship with money because the lord provides all my needs according to his riches in glory.

-7 making a choice between long nails and completing learning how to play the piano. ( So help me God)

-8 Becoming an interior decorating genius. because again, new house and hopefully final Home.

I think I am a bit too open and I want to become a bit more guarded.- what do you think?

Friday, August 12, 2016

And yet another update and #becomingabetterhusband

Today listening to the radio and I just realised I might have figured out what my calling is.

What could this be you ask?

Welllllll

My latest calling is curbing the excesses of men before the decide they want to get married.

Because prevention is better than cure.

And due to the sex bias inherent in all people who better than a married woman to point out the very obvious but still somehow over looked flaws that many men have.

and guard so selfishly.

Mate- you are playing yourself.

But to get to this- would be the most important underlying factor that men (who are christains or even demon worshipers) have to deal with is this.

A marriage not working out is your fault. You are the head of the house. So you know how the ship sinks the captain takes the fall. The same is applicable to marriage, Guard your ship.

Fearlessly. Because we will judge you when it sinks.

My point is this, men have to become more responsible, with their money, with their time and with the lives and love of the women who want to become one with them.

This is the only way for peace to reign.

And you know how else my classes/articles will help you; BY not listening to men who tell you to hit your wives.

Stop listening to bad counsel.

You want to know how counsel is bad- Google the advice you get and add "what does the bible say regarding this".

I guarantee you, you will know.

And the googling is just for demo, because odds are you probably already KNOW it's shit advice.

Off course there would be those asking me why the men and not the women.

Urgh- Trust me all the women I know probably all know more than I do. Women are experiencing an information overload and nearing saturation when it comes to preparation for marriage advice.

Worst part of that advice is that it stems from damage control.

People who are happily married will probably tell you they pray and xyz, those who are in bad marriages always have the most to type out on face book. and yen yen yen.

Listen women, this post is not for you.

Men, come with your pen and paper, let me make you better husbands, lovers and generally all round human beings.

Remember, Happy wife, Happy Life.
Pss- I will post one thing on this every week. with the hashtag #becomingabetterhusband

or #BABH. bab-h? I like the sound of it.

pss- why are there no ghen ghen movies this summer?!!!!