Gold

I met this french boy on Bastille day in Lagos and we planned to meet up the next day during the day but that turned into a night thing.

While we were out, he was asking " getting to know you questions" and I was like
" are you trying to fuck me? or get to know me?, because I'm confused".

and he responded

"L'un n'empeche pas l'autre".

This loosely translates to " one does not prevent the other".

Fast forward to last week, I spent some time at his in his place and he asked me if he could call me Or.

I was like nope.

And he said, but in french it means Gold.

And I'm like that's sweet BUT, it's still not my name.

Oyibo people are interesting but I make sure he calls me by my full name abeg. 

No power

Also people keep asking me what the deal is with us and  I'm like "lets ignore the fact that he is coming to see me this weekend and I'm going back to see him and we are attending a wedding together and call it a fling".

Ps: I also managed to get me an Indian toaster.

So you can call me united nations. I won't be mad at all.

Alexa, play bad habits by Maxwell

And as I got dressed for work this morning, I looked at my sex partner (who we are going to refer to as  Hercules from now by the way because it seems like he is here to stayyyy)  and said

you are not good for me. I have to cancel you.

He looked at me and said same. then made a big X sign with his hands in the air.

followed by, so see you later tonight?

Me: Yeah I'll let you know.

Anywaayyyyy I did the adult thing and had a conversation explaining and setting out my terms of relations with Hercules and he accepted.  which really was that I am not interested in doing any heavy emotional lifting but I am available for casual sex and will be willing to do a minimum of TWO group hangouts with him a month( he seems obsessed with carting me around town), not my cup of tea to be honest. but it was a compromise I was willing to make.

I also mentioned that I would be unavailable for the next few months because I have exams I need to read for. so our sessions will be limited.

Last term was that I do not need him being crazy when he see's me with other men out because you knowwwww, ya girl is single. he agreed. Sorta. (said his friends were off limits)
Which is interesting because I've been on two dates with one of these off limit friends. ( I know I know, but in my defense I gave my word to my friend before I agreed to the terms!)

Beloved, we had been having an unreal amount of glorious sex, THEN I had a crazy experience with him which spooked me for a hot minute and then its back to ignoring his messages and  fucking in restaurant bathrooms.

Smh.

I know. Smh.

Anyway that aside, my friend said she hated that I wasn't dating.
I looked at her like- WHAT? I have no free nights. I'm always out on dates.
she said" with men you know you'd never seriously consider"
me: Like they are dead on arrival?
her: exactly.

to be honest. I haven't even considered seriously dating. Like It's not even something that is on my mind at the moment.

So its strange how everyone keeps talking about how I need to be serious with it.
Ps: ALL the people who tell me this are single.

I am happy with where my non existent dating life is. because there is no shortage of men.
Which is terrible because you'd assume that because everyone complains. there are no men.
Beloved. there are men.

the quality of sex is what I can not vouch for.

I am thinking of picking up a sport. I have been thinking of squash. The friend of Hercules invited me to come watch him play on sunday in apapa club. And I'm like hmnnn.

Last time I went to watch anyone play a sport was sugar baby and soccer.
So you know, I said we'll see.

or Maybe running, but this one that they have started seeing snakes in my estate, that is out of the question.

Its august and I'm kinda pleased with how my life is currently panning out.

Kinda. 

Hercules

You guys know I was screaming at the top of my lungs about this popping sex I was having.

and you know if I was telling you, I was telling everybody who cared to listen.

So my homeboy who was outta town called me for a work favor.

I take the opportunity to casually mention, that you know, me and sex boy are done.

This idiot says to me:

Look, your people management skills are poor. infact they are terribly non existent. 

How can you be having the best sex of your life and you can't manage to keep him around?

Me: err

Him: It's a shame I was looking forward to meeting Mr Hercules Penis.

Me: You are a goat, and I'm gonna block you.