Thursday, January 18, 2018

Ramble Bramble

I woke up to a 3am message from someone I randomly used to talk to.

and I think I'm honestly giving up men in 2018.

Like all of you should just go with your wahala. \ALL\

It was not a bad message per say but actually Its a message I'd never send.
Like I sent it to my friend and she's like this is so sweet, I'm like- y'all are mad.

I had a cocktail at the house called the bramble and it was really good- If any of you Lagos people are looking for where to go and eat- The house is a good spot.

Spent the last two days battling cramps and my God I need to clean up my diet. I spent the last month eating like a piglet and drinking like a fish. my uterus was not pleased. A week into my period felt slightly discomforting but the day I got my period I couldn't sit upright. I had to take a drug that is not FDA approved.

couple this with the fact that I managed to jam my boobs with my car door. ( don't even ask).

Went to the hospital and the doctor looks at my boobs and is like-  When was your last period?
Me: Huh?
Him: I need to know that you aren't pregnant before I prescribe a drug for you.

Anyway I feel better now, thank you for asking.

I feel like my male friends are so invested in my dating life. it's the strangest thing.

I mean thanks guys but at the same time- LOL.

Also just read the wait. I feel like I should apply that to my job search and my career.
seeing as I am celibate anyway. ( and this is not as a result of lack of options)

I'm really tired of being the person who is a femme fatale. Actually I'm not.
I just hate all the men who on my radar.
so I'm throwing the whole thing away.


Friday, January 12, 2018

Nigerian Man

I had dinner with T and D and D's niece and Temi.

As usual T and his party was late

we were the last party to leave the restaurant and while we waited for D to get out of the bathroom,

T turns to me and says

"You are a Nigerian Man and there is no redemption for you"

I find that when people describe you as masculine as a female when it has nothing to do with your looks ( a la serena) it really just means that you are breaking out of the box they put you in.

I am as assertive as they come and I do not back down ever.

Now because I'm female I'm expected to be demure but I have decided to just go out and grab all the lives I can live with both hands.

Only men take. women are expected to be given and be grateful that they receive- never mind that it's not what you want.

As someone who has decided to live a full life. read as many books. research the back story of the break out star in the movie I totally adore ( #TheGreatestShowMan). possibly embrace cougar life (LOL).  I find that people are encouraged. Inspired.

There is a lot of if you can so can I vibes. I love it.

And I'm thankful that T thinks I'm a Nigerian man, because I interpret that to mean that I'm living life on my terms.

You know the way Nigerian men do.

but I have emotional intelligence to know that I should not be an asshole.

Also the food at Craft is good. I had such a wonderful time last night


Monday, January 1, 2018

Happy New Year !

I want to do a review but at the same time I'm like is there any need?

2017 was a good year. were there highlights? Too many

low places? a few.

But a good lesson I forced myself to learn was focusing on blossoming. Focusing on what was working.

The whole hack of life is not to focus your energies on tearing down the old but in building the new things.

And beloved- I'm keeping that energy in 2018.

I was talking to my friend and she said- yeah no you year, new me?

I said nah.

Yesterday I had lunch with the boy I liked, we had lunch on Friday and it was such a good time.

And surprisingly we saw the wedding party 2 and Jumanji together and it was such a fun outing.

Totally random. and while I was going to lie at home, Sugar baby calls me and invites me to dinner.

It's so nice to see him.

We should always be around people that who make us feel good. and whose company we enjoy.

Anyway at the restaurant where we were the last people to leave, I saw the most beautiful beautiful beautiful way a family enters into the new year.

There was champagne. There was a child running around with sparklers. Mother and Grand mother smoking and talking in their language and it was perfect. I should have taken a photo. When I mentioned it to Sugar baby he said make sure you get all the details so you get around writing about it. It's perfect.

We laugh over that.

And I realize I've spent a lot of 2017 making new friends. reading books I thoroughly enjoy. visiting new cities. lying in the dark listening to albums I enjoy ( this is one of my absolute favorite things in the world)- Maybe I should invest in a super surround sound system.

I toyed with the idea of moving out. Maybe this year I will consolidate this. Maybe.

I have looked forward to 2018 for such a long time because THIRTYYYYY. full fabulous.

offcourse I have travel planssss and they are so big and scary but here is the thing if they aren't big and scary how else will growth happen?

In the way of career. I'm ready to get back into the rat race. I miss audit A LOT. but I will never go back. It's too hard too stressful and the occupational hazard.

I think asides work there is not much I plan to change in 2018.

And I want to face this minimalist life business.

And try out this piano thing again for real.

And make more money.

Oh and starting a business.

I had actually posted how I wasn't changing much because to be honest 2017 was a good year.

And I am so grateful to God for how it all panned out.

For living.
For love
For food
For friendships honorable mention to T who moved back.
For church
For my relationship with God
For my nails

And I am truly thankful.


Friday, December 15, 2017

Currently

Listening  to


Bare foot on the grass
listening to our favorite song

If that is not real love. I have no idea what it is.

Reading


I liked the book, but it was so much fluff.
I feel awful that someone writes about her life and I am saying it's fluff, but it just did not appeal to me. I live for a good laugh but I'm glad for the representation she provides for other black women comics in hollywood so I welcome it but yah.


Feeling

Excited about December rocks. In Sabirah's words, #DecemberIsForEnjoyment

Confused about the number of men in my life. January 1- all of them are out. ( new year new men).

Content.

Pleased.  

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Update on silence

I've had a rough two weeks.

I was sick

My laptop crashed and I lost all my information i garnered all through the year. My books. My expenses I tracked. my music. my articles. my everything. vacation photos. you name it- I lost it.

And men in my life have been moving mad.

T travelled.

I couldn't drink any alcohol because I was sick and I had no idea what was wrong with me so I had to do 3 different antibiotic cycles.

But it wasn't all bad.

I went to see an exhibition at Rele with sugar baby and it was so wonderful.
Love the arts.
Sold water for my mum at the experience ( I mean she conned me into doing it) but yah quite the experience. I loved it and became more interested in going into the family business.

Even though I know that this was just a series of bad incidents. it felt like the devil remembered me personally and I was so pissed off.

Like so upset.
My favorite uncle came into town for the week and it's so nice to see that he remembered that I told him I was taking a year from dating and a year had wrapped up and surprise- Not dating.

I'm like abeg allow me drink water and drop cup.

Love him still.

Currently looking for a job in Investment Banking preferably compliance because everyone is worried I'd become a trader and morph into an alpha male and start doing cocaine.

I mean I wonder how they all arrived at that conclusion but I guess I should listen and play small- Not.

Really worried that my Audit experience is not truly transferable and wow. Thats 6 years of my life and professional exams?

The devil is a liar.

That being said
I also lost all the copies of my most recently edited CV.

If I say I'm not over this- I'm lying.

weekend plans coming clutch and then there is the realization that my office does not close for xmas.






Excuse me. WOW.

You mean i do nothing all year but won't close for christmas?

Wow.
Wow.

I need  a new job.

But I'm grateful for the new one sha.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Awakening

I had an event at work yesterday that I stepped in for my co-worker who is out of town doing a training and I just realized this is what I am born to do.

So today I goggle careers in hospitality and it just hit me when I read the JD of hotel concierges that this is what I have been doing my whole life.

For free.

For family and friends.

OMG.

I am almost in tears.

Now how to morph from Chartered accountant to best in the world concierge.

2018 goals just all fell into place.

So now I know that everything I get into will arch into getting me from where I am to where I am supposed to be.

Ps: how did I miss this thing that is so glaringly infront of my face?

Monday, November 20, 2017

List 39: List the most beautiful things you have ever seen

Off the top of my head,  the view of lake Kivu from Nirvana Hotel in Gisenyi.

The view just goes to show God exists and he is super mindful of us and the things we might enjoy.

The sunset last night in Lagos was so randomly beautiful.

I loved it.

My mum smiling at my sister on her wedding day. That was super beautiful too.


Monday, November 13, 2017

Reckless

Went to my friend's brother's wedding on Saturday evening.

No biggie, I'm settling into my seat but then my friend starts to introduce me to everyone else on the table.

First she introduces me to the man to my right- it's her boyfriends friend. I say hey.

Then she introduces me to a girl. who I know, so when she says this is Chioma, I say oh we know each other.

but Chioma tried it. She wanted to be a Lagos girl, so she squinted and said "I don't know you"

And I tell her " Your friend used to fuck my ex husband".

And all of a sudden she knew me.
She spent all night trying to explain away her non involvement in the situation.

Me: I don't care, I'm not judging you. Or her. It is what it is.


Lagos people if we know each other- Stop pretending.
I've stopped.
I'm saying hey. you better say hey back.

Also she is such a Lagos girl she cracked,
if the roles were reversed I'd pretend even harder about not knowing me.

Monday, November 6, 2017

25 and Party

You know the best part of birthday's?

It's a low hanging fruit regarding reconciliation for all the people I have stopped talking to.

and when I say low hanging I mean that's probably the easiest way to get back in my good graces.

So as you can imagine I had a few stragglers from my past.

Some stupid. some more stupid. but come they did.

And I'm not mad at that.

I had a party for my birthday on Saturday.

I used to host so much when I lived at home before Eros.

And even when I got married and moved in, I hosted everything.

Surprise parties at Oriental presidential suites for Eros, to surprise  house parties for his brother. To planned birthday parties for his friend that lived with us at the time, to whatsapp groups for surprise showers to surprise birthday parties. Sha sha I was the plug for party-ing.

I love party planning. but in the last year I hadn't planned any parties.
And I told myself that I was going to spend the year going back and doing the things I enjoyed and so I decided to have a party.

And it was more expensive than I anticipated and my last guests left at 2am but my heart is full.

And I'm glad I decided to have the party.

turns out lots of people thought I was 25 because I told them I was 25, it's going to be a funny time when I turn 30 next year.

My skin is clear because I am celibate.
Well maybe not because that exactly but since I left men alone, I haven't had any pimples and my body has been working really well so I know for a fact that it must be the man fast I went on that is doing the lords good work.

Dinner with T tonight for restaurant week.
I'm just glad I have men who aren't trying to fuck me but are happy to feed me.
Small mercies.



List 38: list the ways you can love yourself more

Start playing the piano
Take up squash properly ( the sport) or any sport really
Wake up earlier
Say no to people more
Not take myself too seriously
Quit alcohol for real
Find something valuable to build.
Enjoy life to the fullest.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Me and T conversations

Me: I was so tired, I considered turning off my phone and pretending to be asleep
T: wow how are you even think that- at this point you are better off sucking it up
Me: I did. Meh
T: ah last week this boy was all up on your IG and this week see how you are talking
Me: One minute you are cock of the walk next minute you are the feather duster
T: Indeed.


Ramble Bramble

I woke up to a 3am message from someone I randomly used to talk to. and I think I'm honestly giving up men in 2018. Like all of you ...